The Choice (a Painful Past)

176

I stared into his blue eyes and my heart broke. I had let my walls down, just a little, but I felt them snap closed again.

"Please believe me." He pleaded.

I stepped back and crossed my arms over my chest, in a protective manner.

"You could've told me last night. You could've told me before I went outside. You've had plenty of time to tell me! Now, everything you said has been posted online for everyone to see! How's that gonna look for your social media image? You shouldn't have done it, Colby. You went too far." I replied, sighing in defeat when I finished. "Please, just let me in the room."

"I don't have the key. I'll have to knock." He sighed, as he turned back to the door.

I stood behind him, awkwardly, waiting for Sam or Nate to open the damn door. When they did, Colby stepped aside to let me enter the room first. I pushed past him and went straight to the bathroom to change back into my clothes.

"Callie!" Colby called after me.

"She found the text, didn't she?" I heard Sam murmur to him.

I didn't hear Colby's reply, because I went inside the bathroom and slammed the door. I closed the toilet lid, then sank down on it. I huffed out a breath, as I buried my face in my hands.

This was all a mistake. If I had just stayed at home, like I usually did, then all of this would have never happened. I wouldn't have opened up to Colby, I wouldn't have run into Will and Kelly, and I wouldn't have gotten those nasty texts from Will.

Colby wouldn't have seen them and decided to go through my texts. It all came back to the fact that I should've stayed my ass at home. It had turned into a giant disaster.

I honestly didn't know why I kept trying to connect with people or find the girl that I used to be. I no longer liked people and that girl was dead. She wasn't coming back.

I texted Denise really quick and told her that I needed her to come pick me up, then grabbed my clothes that were still hanging on the towel rack.

When I unbuttoned Colby's shirt, his purely clean, manly scent invaded my senses. God, he smelled good. Not like the kid that was always trying too hard, but like the man that knew exactly what he was doing.

I sighed and finished changing, then heard a light knock on the door.

"Cal? Please let me explain." Colby said, quietly.

I stood there, with my hand on the knob, silent as a mouse.

Should I let him explain?

What explanation was there for going through my phone though? My personal shit. I shook my head and looked in the mirror.

That was me. That girl looked utterly defeated and sick of everything. That's exactly who I was now.

I was stuck in this town. I was stuck near Will and his fiancé. I was stuck in this life.

I had to accept it or I would never gain an ounce of happiness.

"Please, Callie." He spoke through the door again. "At least let me apologize. I know what I did was wrong."

I didn't like to argue. I hated confrontation. Always had.

This was no different. My anger had dissipated, but my walls were back up, as strong as ever.

I opened the door, slowly, and came face to face with him.

"But you did it anyway, Colby. You knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway. You know, he used to do that to me. He would go through everything on my phone. He would answer texts and messages from other people, telling them to back off, or some other stupid shit. He cussed out my guy friends that I used to have, simply because they said hi. Whether you knew or not, you still did it. You took control of a situation, because you thought that I couldn't handle it. It's not okay." I insisted, quietly. "I'm going to smoke."

I pushed past him, holding back stupid fucking tears, grabbed my cigarettes, and walked out the door again. I rested my arms on the balcony rail and lit one. I watched the hazy, gray smoke billow out into the dingy morning.

It looked like rain. The sun was peeking through the dark clouds, but it just gave the scenery a dirty, dusty look. My phone vibrated, so I took it out of my back pocket to check it.

It was from Denise.

"Can't pick you up right now. Is everything okay? No one is here with the boys. Bryon got called into work. He has to work a double. Those assholes are going to work him into the ground. I can figure something out, if you really need me."

I sighed heavily and texted her back. "No, it's fine. I can get one of the guys to take me home. I just need to get back to Mom. Make sure she eats and everything. You know I don't trust my brothers to take care of her. She'll end up cooking them breakfast, instead of the other way around. Thanks though. Tell B that I love him."

"Fucking hell." I groaned.

Now it looked like I was going to have to ask them to take me home. Shit.

I heard the door squeak open behind me. I opened the text from Will, so that I would remember why I was angry.

Without a word, Colby propped on the rail beside me. After a few minutes of me smoking, and him staring silently out at the horizon, I couldn't take it anymore. It was anything but a comfortable silence.

"Colby, what do you want?" I asked, quietly. "Nothing you say is going to change what you did."

"I know that, Cal. I could tell you that I wish I could take it back...but that would be a lie. It's not that I don't think you can handle it. I just know that you won't. You may have ended the relationship, but you still let him manipulate you and treat you like shit, just to avoid the drama. I wanted to help." He sighed.

I thought about his words for a moment, and I understood his side, but it didn't change what he did.

"You're right. I would have just explained what I was doing, just to avoid the drama. I hate fighting with him. I hate fighting with anyone. Probably why Kelly thinks we're friends. I can't be mean. I'm not wired that way." I replied, looking over at him.

My breath haltered when he met my gaze.

There was sorrow, anger, an intensity that I hadn't seen before, and apologies, all there, in those blue eyes of his.

"You get to leave, Colby. You get to leave whenever you want. Me, I'm stuck here. I have to live here, with him torturing me for what you said to him. I have to deal with the stares from everyone else in this town, when I decide to have the audacity to walk down the street or go grocery shopping. He has more friends than me. He knows more people. Yeah, most of them are drug addicts, or dealers, but their parents are usually high-end pillars of this community. You've put me in a position where I have to explain myself to all of these people that I've tried so hard to hide from. You don't have to deal with this. I do."