The Choice (a Painful Past)

61

He rolled his eyes, then slammed his fist down on the arm of the couch.

"Didn't stop you from staying out there for another hour with him though, did it?" He asked, scathingly.

He was taking another step towards me. I had been around him drunk and even had him yell at me, but this was different. I didn't think that I had ever seen him this angry.

I stood quickly, and darted around to the hallway entrance.

"I'm going to bed. We can talk about this in the morning, when you're sober." I turned without waiting for a reply, and rushed to my room.

I wasn't scared that he would hit me. Not really. I just didn't know how to deal with the anger that was rolling off of him.

I just wanted to sleep the rest of this stupid night away, like it had never happened. I thought that he would follow me, but I didn't hear any footsteps. After a moment of listening, I stripped off my jeans and lay down in the bed.

I was so exhausted. I must've fallen asleep, because next thing I knew, the slamming of a door jerked me awake.

"What's happened?!" I yelled, automatically sitting up.

"You really did just go to bed, didn't you?!" Will said, standing at the bedroom door.

My body went on high alert, making me stiff and rigid.

"Yes." I said, quietly. "I told you that I was. I don't want to talk about this anymore, Baby. Please, just let it go for now." I knew he wouldn't and I knew that I sounded pathetic, but it was worth a shot.

"No." He replied, angrily shaking his head. "No. You did this, so deal with the consequences. You always do this! Whenever we have an argument, you just sit there, not saying anything! You don't take up for yourself, or argue back. You just sit there! Or you walk away! You're a fucking coward, Callie. A pussy bitch."

For the first time since we had been together, I started shaking with anger myself. He was right. I was a coward, but I was sick of being one.

"Get out of my room." I said, with my voice low but determined. "Go away, Will."

He let out an arrogant laugh, that grated on my raw nerves like nails on a chalkboard. "NO!" He yelled. "You're a coward, and probably a whore at that! Is that why the kid always tries to be around you? Is that why he thinks he has a chance? Because you made him think that! I know you did." He fell silent, like he was waiting for me to say something.

A sick smile crossed his lips, when I stayed quiet, just like he knew that I would.

"Just like I thought. Won't even bother taking up for yourself, because you know I'm right. I knew that you had good pussy, but I didn't know that you were one." He spat out.

I don't know what happened to me, in that moment, but something snapped. All of his hateful words had built up inside of me, until I wanted to scream and pull my hair out. No, I wanted to pull his hair out.

Before I could stop myself, my feet were on the floor and I was in his face. Literally, only a hair away from my nose touching his. His eyes went wide in surprise, as he caught my gaze.

"I am NOT a coward!" I yelled, emphasizing each word with a sharp poke to his chest. "You want me to take up for myself, well here I am! You want me to fight back?! Let's go then! What, Will?! WHAT?!" I was screaming by this point, but I couldn't stop myself.

Everything had been building up inside of me, since he had cheated, but exploded into this one moment.

"Get out of my face, Callie." He whispered, with a deadly tone.

I didn't care.

I shoved him back with one hand, and moved with him so that my nose was still close to his.

"No. You wanted this, so let's do it. You wanna argue? Well, I'm ready!"

His eyes and lips tightened, then another movement caught my eyes. His hand, which was hanging down by his side, had balled into a fist and jerked back a couple of inches. This only enraged me more.

Lightning flashed inside of me, a hot, angry bolt that zinged through my body.

"YOU WANNA HIT ME? OH, SO YOU'RE THIS BIG DOG NOW, WHO WANTS TO HIT ON A WOMAN! DO IT THEN, YOU ASSHOLE! I'M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT WITH YOU! HIT ME, MOTHER FUCKER! I WANT YOU TO!"

I knew that I shouldn't have been pushing him like that. My mother had always told me to try and diffuse the situation, and get away, if I were ever in anything that might lead to a man hitting me. This thought ran through my mind, but I paid no attention to it.

I was already gone.

He held my gaze, with hard, steely eyes.

"I'm not going to hit you, you stupid bitch." He replied, loosening his fist. "I would never do that. Why do you always have to push me this far? God, I can't win with you!"

"You always win." I replied, still seething with anger.

I wanted to hit him. I wanted to keep hitting him, until I drew blood. I was seeing red and couldn't seem to calm down.

My body was trembling from head to toe, with adrenaline, and I couldn't stop it.

Suddenly, his face turned white and his eyes rolled a little in his head. He stumbled, but caught himself on the wall. I immediately grabbed ahold of his waist, to help him stay upright.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

My voice was still coated in anger, but I did love him and something was wrong.

"I'm gonna be sick." He replied.

I leaned over and grabbed the trashcan that I kept by the door, and held it up for him. I made it just in time. He retched, and the sound made my stomach turn.

He gagged and heaved, until he was so weak that he couldn't stand. I helped him over to the foot of the bed, so that he could sit down, then made sure the trashcan made it to his lap, just in case. I didn't say anything to him.

I waited until he couldn't throw up anymore, and was just groaning from the pain of the dry heaves. He had drank way too much.

"Callie, I'm so sorry." He whimpered, looking up at me for a few seconds. "I don't know-"

I cut him off.

I couldn't talk about it right then, so I held my hand up stopping him, as I shook my head.