19 : No matter what

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It's been almost 5 months since our college has started and boy did I somewhat regret taking Medical as my career

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It's been almost 5 months since our college has started and boy did I somewhat regret taking Medical as my career.

Why???
Why did I have to put myself through this?

I could've chosen anything.
Anything...
But I go ahead and choose one of the hardest courses out there.
I mean what was I even thinking?

I knew that I'm not exactly the studious type. I sure was an above-average student in high school, but this is medical.
MBBS.
This isn't something you just choose on a fluke.

To be average in high school, and to be average in Medical College are two completely different things.

And on that, studying Medicine in India is a whole other discussion.
The Vivas
Projects
Journals
Never-ending exams
Ughhhh.....

But still, after all this shit, my dream is still to become a surgeon like my parents. Help people out.

It's been a hectic month. The studies never end, and if by any luck they do, the teachers announce some project or something.

Soon our half-yearly exams will be announced and I had to keep up with my syllabus, so the studies go on till late at night, which means that I don't get to spend time with Haans at all.

To not see him every day is not something I'm okay with.
I never will be.

We are trying our best to take time out of our busy schedules and study sessions, to spend with each other, but it's becoming harder with the passing days.

In the beginning, we managed to be successful at it, but with increasing time and studies, it's becoming harder and more agitating.
We can't even blame each other because we are doing what is required of us to keep up with college lives. And by the time we complete the to-do list, it's either midnight or one of us has already succumbed to exhaustion and dozed off. Then we don't have the heart to wake the other one up.

It's taking a toll on us, since we kind of detox each other. So now this bundled-up fatigue and the increasing distance are causing me a headache.

I was in the parking lot, sulking in my thoughts and waiting for Haans as his class must have ended about ten minutes back, so we could go home.

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