Mad

Penelope

Penelope leaned in to smell the beautiful fragrance of the tulips that Mr. Michael Stirling had brought her when he came to call this morning. They were by far the most beautiful blooms that she had received that morning as she had five other gentlemen besides Mr. Stirling that had come to call on her. After having no one pay any attention to her, it was slightly unnerving for Penelope to have all of these gentlemen hanging onto her every word. It was truly only Michael's company that she had enjoyed. He was by far one of the most handsome men of her acquaintance with full head of shiny black hair and his penetrating smoldering stare. Penelope could also not help noticing his broad shoulders and well-muscled arms and legs. Michael Stirling was the type of man that made women's legs turn into jelly and Penelope was no exception.

Penelope had found Michael to be easy to converse with, a fact that she found surprising given his reputation. She had thought that he might be forward and overly flirtatious, but she was pleased that that was not the case. They had talked for hours, much to her mother's chagrin who wanted her to pay attention to her other suitors. Mr. Stirling or Michael as he preferred Penelope call him spent most of his time in Northern Scotland helping his cousin to run the large estate and lands. While his cousin preferred toiling on their land and could always be found in the fields or assisting his tenants, Michael had preferred the business side of running an estate, something in which he was doing quite well. Not wishing to rely simply on the funds that were held within the title and estate, Michael had made several wise investments and had ensured that the Kilmartin lands were thriving and would be for the generations that came after him.

When the time came for Michael to say his farewell, he had asked Penelope to promenade with him tomorrow at the park. She had happily accepted and had blushed when he had brushed a kiss onto the back of her hand. "Until tomorrow then Penelope."

After Michael, Eloise and the rest of her suitors had departed, Penelope braced herself for her mother's response.

"Well, that was a delightful morning," said Portia clapping her hands together. "I rather thought you a lost cause when it came to finding a suitor Penelope, especially after what Mr. Bridgerton said about you but you have turned it around! Did you have a favorite among the gentlemen that called on you today? I did like the Marquess of Ashtown. He is a little young but extraordinarily rich. Nearly 10,000 a year and you can be sure that your babies would have the prettiest red hair."

"I do not think that the color of a gentlemen's hair would convince me to marry them Mama," said Penelope sarcastically.

"Oh, but think of it Penelope," said Portia excitedly. "You would be a marchioness and have the money to buy everything that your heart desired."

"Not to mention, save the family from utter ruin," muttered Prudence.

Penelope sighed. "My heart does not desire much," lied Penelope thinking of Colin, the one man she wanted but could never have. "Only someone kind and attentive, someone to which I can talk. I did like Mr. Michael Stirling."

"Pssh. Michael Stirling is a rake. He will never settle. I would not waste your time thinking about him. He is only after one thing and it is not marriage," Portia sternly.

"He did ask me to promenade with him tomorrow, Mama, if the weather permits. It would be rude of me to refuse him now, would it not?"

"Very well then," said Portia waving her hand. "Oh Penelope, you must wear that adorable yellow dress with the matching spencer that we purchased for you a few months back. It brings out the color of your hair so well. These dresses that Lady Bridgerton purchased for you," said Portia as she gestured towards light green morning dress that Penelope currently had on. "They quite wash you out."

"Oh," said Penelope thinking quickly. Leave it to her Mama to try and get her back into those horrid yellow gowns. "There is quite a large tear along the hem of the yellow dress Mama. It will take some time for Mrs. Varley to mend it."

"Then just where one of your newer dresses," said Portia before leaning down to pick something up off the floor. "Penelope, there is a letter her for you. It had fallen between the sofa and the table." Portia handed the letter to Penelope. "Who is that from Penelope?"

Not seeing a reason to lie Penelope simply said, "Colin Bridgerton. With all the excitement of the ball and the suitors I have quite forgotten about it. Eloise gave it to me just the other day. She seemed to think it was an apology letter of some sort. Mother, I think I will go to my room to rest for a while. I am feeling a little tired."

Penelope watched as her mother bestowed a rare smile upon her. "Of course, Penelope darling. You have had a busy day. Go and take a rest."

Penelope nodded and exited the drawing and began to climb the stairs, holding Colin's letter tightly in her hand. Once she was in the safety of her room, Penelope went to the window seat overlooking the back garden and opened Colin's letter her hands shaking.

Dearest Penelope,
I have been agonizing on how to start this letter and I feel that I must begin with another apology. I am truly sorry for not only the words that I spoke that horrible night but also that I spoke them in such a public manner. You may not believe it, but I did not mean those words as they sounded. I only wished to convey that we were friends and did not share a romantic attachment. These last weeks have been a form of torture. My thoughts are consumed with you and what I did and the only respite that I have found is at the bottom of a bottle. Even then, thoughts of you are able to sneak into my mind. I had not realized until I lost it, but your friendship is so very dear to me. So very dear that I have been trying in vain to find a way for you to forgive only to come to a sudden realization. I do not deserve your forgiveness. I do not deserve your trust or friendship after my actions, and I will not seek them. All I can do is forge ahead and try to be a better man and hope that in time we will come to repair our broken friendship and perhaps start anew. Be safe and keep well my dearest Pen.
Yours,
Colin

Penelope had not realized that she was crying until a tear fell down her cheek and landed on the letter. Even before she read the letter, she knew in her heart that she had forgiven Colin. She would always forgive Colin. Folding the letter back up, Penelope walked to her desk and placed the letter in the back of one of the drawers. It was then that she made the decision that she would not reply to Colin's letter. Even though he would always hold a special place in her heart for him, it was time to move on.