Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 12...

*Trigger Warning*- Sexual Assault. This is a heavy chapter so keep that in mind as you read. 

Trevor

"I could eat an entire cow right now." Bryton said next to me as the boat headed back to the dock. I ignored him and the others, my eyes landing on the figure across from me.

Tasha leaned against Josie's side, looking adorably tired as she talked about who knows what. Something tugged in my chest as I stared at her. Her blonde hair hanging down her back in waves, slightly dried but still wet enough to cling to her skin. Her shoulders and face had a light red hue to it from being out in the sun. She looked downright beautiful. And don't get me started on the long bare legs draped over Josie's. Legs that I wanted draped over mine....among other positions.

Sitting here I could still feel her on my back. The feel of her slick skin against mine as she held onto me, chest pressed to my back. It had taken everything in me to actual normal. Like Tasha Davis normally clung to my back.

I thought back to last night on the beach. It was the first time Tasha and I had been alone like that without any of our friends nearby. It was nice and...comfortable. I liked learning more about her. Seeing what made her the way she is.

Tasha was so closed off at times. Never really showing how she felt and rarely talked about herself. At least not when I was around. From what I've seen Josie is the only one she's fully close with. Knowing she hid so much of herself just made me want to know even more.

"Dude." My shoulder was shoved, my eyes snapping to Bryton next to me. "Could you be anymore obvious."

"What?"

"Your staring at Tasha like some creep."

"I'm not."

"The fact we've said your name five times and you didn't respond says you are." Shit.

"When are you going to admit you feel something for her?" Wyatt asked.

"I don't feel anything for her." I lied right out my ass.

"Yeah and I don't love Josie." Wyatt shot me a look. "We are your best friends Trev. You can't lie to us."

"I don't know what I feel." I grumbled. That part was true. I liked her. Liked her more than I should, considering that she can barely stand to be around me. But last night and today was confusing because she was acting different.

I've never met a girl that's gotten so under my skin. She's somehow crawled her way inside of me and didn't seem to be going anywhere, anytime soon. I don't think she even knew just what she was doing to me.

I've been with my fair share of women, that wasn't really a secret. I was more of a playboy out of the three of us but the women that came home with me, knew what they were getting into. I made it perfectly clear my main focus was hockey. I learned the hard way what being in love does to you.

My last relationship ended with me hurt beyond belief and my hockey game suffered because of it. After getting in a fight on the ice and being benched for two games I knew I had to stop. With help from Wyatt and a few bottles of Jameson I got my shit together. Told myself I wasn't going to get in another relationship that could jeopardize my career.

"Don't know what you feel as in-you like her but don't want to or you want to sleep with her?" Bryton asked

"Josie will have my balls if you sleep with her best friend and make things awkward." Wyatt said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'm not going to sleep with her. I mean I would like to obviously but..." I trailed off unsure of what I was saying. Wyatt, Bryton and Landon stared at me waiting for me to continue. With a sigh I finally told them about what happened months ago.