Mess To Be Made

30

My dad was coming home in four days.

I wish I was excited. I should be excited. I should be elated to see my dad after him being away for so long. I wasn't though. I was dreading it to the point where I was throwing up every morning. I felt like I held a poison inside of me.

Why did she do it? How could she do this? And what was I supposed to do when I saw him?

While at school, I tried not to think about it. I focused on smoking with Cory. Talking about Liam and Caleb with Rachel and Lindsay. Pretending to act perfectly normal around Sean. Clacking my fingernails against Tyler's desk.

I avoided Spencer, Blake, and Landon like the plague. Each for different reasons, interestingly enough.

One liked me, one lied to me, and one fucked me.

Well, they all fucked me, technically. But Landon fucked me up. He disrespected me.

My birthday party was in four days too, though, and all three of them were sure to be there. Lindsay was throwing it at her house and it doesn't take a genius to assume that everyone who was anyone was invited.

There were three people who weren't considered "anyone," however, that I wanted there.

I asked Cory yesterday when we smoked together.

He raised his eyebrows. "You want me to come to your birthday party?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'm an outsider. Sean hates me. Probably everyone in your friend group hates—"

"No one hates you." I rolled my eyes. "Stop being dramatic."

Cory shook his head and laughed at me before pulling in a hard breath against the roll of paper. "Look. I'll swing by for a bit to say happy birthday. How about that?"

I smiled at him and I felt giddiness swirl in my stomach. "You'll really stop by?"

"Yeah. Sean might kill me but—"

"It's my birthday," I said, snatching the joint out of his hand. "No one is getting killed."

Cory smiled genuinely at me. A toothy grin. "I'm still going to update my will."

"Ha ha."

I anticipated that Cory would take some convincing, but he would be the easiest win over. It was Tyler and Scott I was worried about most.

I strategically decided to ask them right after I smoked with, and asked, Cory during lunch. I knew Cory saying yes would give me some confidence and the weed would give me some courage.

And I was nothing but confident and courageous when I stepped up on the ledge of Tyler's Suburban and knocked on the driver's side window, making both boys jump.

Tyler looked absolutely livid, before reluctantly rolling down his window. "You don't have to knock so hard, you know?"

"I told you. I gotta keep you on your toes somehow." I smirked and resisted a wink. Instead, I peeked over Tyler's shoulder. "Hi, Scott."

"Hi, Allie," Scott replied, seeming to sink into his seat hesitantly.

"What do you want," Tyler deadpanned.

I blinked dramatically. "For you to be nicer to me."

This was, kind of, a lie. I oddly liked how blunt and unamused he was with me. It was entertaining and, as pathetic as it might sound, it sort of made me feel special.

So when his glare only darkened, I had to suppress a smile.

"Alright, alright. Look, my birthday is this Saturday," I started.