Her Side of the World

Chapter 17

"I hope the weekend you had was worth it." Mariam says walking in front of me and smiling.

I follow her.

"What?"

"I hope it worth missing on the plans I had."

"Oh. It was good."

"This weekend will be better."

No matter how hard I try to keep some distance between us, it does not work. Mariam says everything in the form of a statement. She does not ask me if I want to spend this weekend with her. She assumes I will and tells me I will.

Part of me feels like this is better anyway. Had she asked, I would have probably not been able to deny anyway. I would have said yes. Then I would have kept feeling guilty and wrong about it. This way, she makes the decision a little easier for me.

"So what have you planned? And where are we going now?"

Mariam goes into the library where we always study. However, as soon as she is in, she takes a different direction than the usual; going this time towards the librarian. She speaks to him as I make my way towards her. They talk in Arabic. Then the guy lets us in.

"Come on." She tells me over her shoulders.

I follow her into an elevator.

She moves excited left and right. "It's been a long time since I came into the library. I can't believe your curiosity didn't drive you here yet. It's huge. You will love it."

I clear my throat.

The elevator door opens. The library is indeed marvellous. It is huge. Books so packed, there could be thousands or millions or a number I cannot name. There is simply a lot.

Mariam's eyes lit. She lets out a long breath and shakes her head.

"I wish I could live long enough to read all of these."

 I smile at the thought.

"Of course, there are many things I wish I could live long enough to do."

"Like what?" I ask, stepping closer to her.

"Like try different lives in different places on this earth. Conduct experiments. Being able to come up with answers to the questions I have about humanity."

"I wish I understood what you're saying better." I did understand a good part though. Mariam is always talking about deep feelings. She is always asking herself philosophical questions. She had shared some of the conversations she has with herself with me a few times.

"Me too." She laughs.

She starts walking the aisles, checking books left and right. I do the same, taking a little extra care for the books she stops by. Trying to understand what intrigues her.

Mariam finally chooses a book and tells me she is ready to leave.

"So what are we doing in the weekend?"

"You're visiting my village with me."

Not at all what I expected.

"Your village?"

"Please don't be that excited. It could hurt you." she jokes.

"No, I'm excited. I just did not expect it."

"My family and I are going to the village this weekend and you will come too."

For me, this is truly very weird.

"Please don't think this is awkward."

"It is." I laugh. "I'm sorry. I think this is beyond me."

"I want you to be there because it is an experience you will not be able to have any other time. You will love it. I promise."

"I'm not worried about loving it. I-"

"-And, it is not weird. My friends come over to the village all the time. In fact, I have many friends who live there. You can meet them and perhaps feel less weird about it?"

"I don't know, Mariam."

"Please just think about it."

I nod.

As soon as I go back to my dorm at night, I talk to Nader about it. Not that Nader is in on what goes on with me, but he can always help me distinguish between what is truly weird and what is simply different. I am usually always making a big deal out of things. I do not think there was a time when I asked Nader if something was weird and he said yes.

"Yes." Nader says.

"Yes?"

"Yes, kind of. I mean, it is definitely not just a Lebanese thing to invite you like that. I mean yes, people do that. But not randomly. You must be special."

"When you say special?"

"I mean, she either likes you or just really enjoys your company. But I don't think she would drive just her average friend from the city to the village for a full weekend with no hard grounds for that."

"I see."

So I now I know should deny her request.

But now I feel more special.

And I feel like Mariam might be feeling some of what I am going through. I open my phone to text her.

Okay, Mariam. Let's do it.