𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈𝐟 𝐖𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐈𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

CHAPTER 26: RYAN

Rose hasn't spoken a word after her breakdown.

I understand she's embarrassed. She has never broken down like this infront of me. Maybe she has never broken down like this infront of anyone before.

"Sir?" Isabelle's voice over the phone brought me back to reality. I've been looking at Rose through the whole call

"Yeah?" I said

"What do you want us to do?"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Someone hacked into our system and copied our designs. Turns out my security team is weak enough for our projects to be leaked.

"Contact Finn. Ask him to come over to the office and look over the security footage. He'll find something." I said

"Okay sir."

"Is there anything else?"

"No sir."

"Okay. Keep me updated about the situation."

"Alright sir. Have a good day."

"Goodbye." I hung up and looked at Rose. She hasn't moved from the bed since she's layed down.

After her breakdown, we decided to call off our day, I ordered room service and we silently ate. She didn't once look at me during breakfast. Even after breakfast, when she told me she wants to sleep, she didn't make eye contact with me. She looked everywhere but at me.

It's been 3 hours and I know she's not sleeping. She has been awake all along while I kept watch on her.

I sighed. I placed my phone on the side table and walked over to Rose's side of the bed.

She knew I was coming and still she didn't pretended to sleep.

She was fidgeting with her pillow. Her hand paused when she realized I stood at the end of the bed, she didn't look at me and continued fidgeting.

I sat on the edge of the bed, she scooted away a little to make space.

I pressed my lips together before speaking "Rose? What's wrong, sweetheart?" She stopped fidgeting the pillow and shoved her hand under it. "you haven't said anything since breakfast." My voice was low"what happened?"

She didn't say anything for a moment. At first, I thought she won't answer me but then she opened her mouth "I... I don't know what happened." She whispered "I don't know what has been happening..." She closed her eyes "it's so confusing."

She kept her eyes close for few seconds then moved to lay on her back, she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling.

She had the same expression that she had on the night I caught her, lost in her thoughts.

She sat up after few seconds and finally looked at me.

Never had I thought that not being able to stare in Rose's eyes would bring such discomfort.

"Ryan," she said gently

"Yes, sweetheart?"

She hesitated "can you... Can you hold me?" She closed her eyes again and whispered "please."

She didn't open her eyes when she said it or even after she said it.

I placed my hand on the back of her head and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead.

"You don't have to ask, sweetheart. You can order me away." I said while my lips were pressed on her forehead.

I felt her chuckle and it brought such relief.

Without wasting another second, I moved towards the head of the bed and gently pulled Rose towards me. She sat between my legs and I wrapped my arms around her. She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"After mom passed away, I started getting nightmares of her death." She spoke "although, I didn't see how she died but knowing was enough for my nightmares to be horrible." She started tracing on my sleeves as she continued "every night when I would go to sleep, I'd see her in my dreams. It would have a great start, with a memory of us hanging out but then-" her voice broke.

Her hand paused on my sleeves, I tightened my grip around her a little and pressed my lips against her hair.

She let out a sigh then continued "I'd see her in a car driving home from work and then... Another car would crash into hers." She said, her voice cracking "I would wake up screaming, crying, calling for dad. He'd run to my room in such worry, he would ask me what happened but I couldn't talk because of my sobs so I would just hug him and sob." 

She didn't say anything after that, we both sat in silence for a bit then I spoke "did you... Did you start getting flashbacks?"

She slightly nodded "my nightmares stopped after few months but whenever I would think too much about mom, I would end up being present in the memory." She started tracing on my sleeves again "it only happens when I'm alone, I zone out and I don't know for how long I'm away from reality."

"What was the longest time of your zone out?" I asked

She hesitated "3 hours."

I sighed. I made sure I didn't show her that it freaked me out or concerned me way too much. Me freaking out is the last thing she wants-

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

I looked at Rose and her head was turned towards me, she was scanning my face.

"I know you're crazy." She frowned "but not in this point of view." I paused before continuing "you miss your mom. There's nothing crazy about it. It's sweet."

Her face relaxed. Her lips formed into a small smile and she turned her head back to resting it on my shoulder.

She sighed with her body and smiled weakly, closing her eyes "it feels good to finally tell someone about it." She tilted her head and I looked at her, she opened her eyes to meet mine "thank you for listening... And holding me."

I gave her a small smile "anytime, sweetheart."

She closed her eyes again, her weak smile still on place.

I'm pretty sure she knew I was looking at her but she didn't seem to be bothered by it. I watched her as she dozed off to sleep and snuggled into me.

I didn't move from my place. I kept her close and safe.

If talking about her problems makes Rose loosen up. I'll listen to her every day whenever she wants and I'll never be tired.  I'll give her whatever she wants, whenever she wants.