Star Rider

Alcon's Journal #10 -- The Voyage

DSF@25aedc1c8980154f5b47b9bcc9c9b58a

The exploration is about to end, and in a few dozen cycles, I can turn the spaceship around and accelerate towards the Near-Earth space habitat to begin the return journey. Mars has become increasingly humorous and witty in style. Since my father was assassinated, I have not been one to joke around, but under the influence of Mars, I have become much more cheerful. Perhaps Mars is just another subconscious version of myself.

During one sleep cycle, I suddenly woke up, and the information light on Mars was on. "Alcon, what's wrong?" it asked.

"I'm not sure why I woke up suddenly. It just happened," I replied.

"Do you need me to reset your brainwave resonance to help you fall asleep?" Mars asked.

"Not for now. I'll try on my own," I said, but then I remembered the information light on Mars. "Mars, is there any important news?"

Mars paused for a moment before replying, "Alcon, your mother is sick."

I immediately grabbed the nearest display terminal and began to look through the messages. About 200 clock cycles or more than a month ago, I received news that there was a rapidly spreading virus variant transmitted through the respiratory system on my home planet. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Every 8-10 months, there would be a contagion crisis on my home planet, and with current technological levels, there were vaccines and treatments for almost all known viruses. However, there would always be patients whose conditions worsened during every virus outbreak, and I never thought my mother would be one of them.

In the video, my mother was on the third day after getting infected, and she had already started using a respiratory assistance system. She could only communicate through handwritten text or a keyboard, but she was already very weak and couldn't even raise her hand to type. She could only gesture on a sensing drawing board. Every time she finished writing, the auxiliary robot next to her would integrate the content into the video for display. I saw what my mother had written: "It's okay," "Don't worry, I'll get better," and then she tried to draw a smiley face.

I couldn't sleep, and suddenly, there was a surge of hatred. Why was fate so unfair to my mother? After taking my father away, it had to strike her with illness! I stood up and paced around the cabin. Mars didn't say anything and after a while, it asked, "Alcon, do you need me to turn off centrifugal gravity so you can see Earth?"

I thought about it for a moment and said, "No, but Mars, can you help me send a message to the company now? Request an early return?"

"Mm-hmm, I'm ready. Please confirm the authorization to send," Mars said.

I looked at the application email Mars had prepared and confirmed the send.

"Mars, if we start our return journey early, how soon can we reach Earth?"

"Alcon, I've calculated it. It would take 5 months and 23 days to reach Noah 2, the closest space habitat to Earth. It will take another week to reach the Earth orbital ring station from there."

I sat on the floor, holding my head, unsure of what to do.

I didn't know how long had passed, but the regular clock cycle had already switched to the work cycle and I was still sitting on the floor. That's when Mars reminded me, "Alcon, the DSF scheduling system has authorized me to begin the return journey. I need to shut down the centrifugal force adjustment orbit and start accelerating." I stood up blankly, locked myself into the command position, and listened as Mars completed a series of stops, turns, and accelerations. After a while, Mars reminded me, "Alcon, the orbit has been adjusted, and we are still accelerating. I will open the porthole facing the bow of the ship. Can you see Earth?" After confirming, I pulled myself to the command module and sat down, following Mars's instructions to find the blue mother planet. I was going back, but it was hundreds of millions of kilometers or several months away. I was going to the future of my mother star, and I didn't know where my mother's future was...

Less than 10 days into the return journey, Mars and I learned that my mother had passed away.

In her final moments of clarity, my mother left a message: "Alcon, it's okay. I'm just going to see your father. I miss him very much. To be honest, I still hate those who took your father away. When you come back, take me with you to leave the Earth. I will miss you, but we will eventually be reunited, right?"

As I reflect upon those five long months, I struggle to remember how I managed to endure them. The memory of feeling utterly alone and hopeless, confronted with the vast expanse of space and distance, still haunts me. I recall screaming, running, and jumping in a frenzy of desperation, but the universe remained uncaring, responding with nothing but endless darkness and silence.

During the return journey, I often put on my spacesuit and climbed out of the cabin to join 3137 in flying for several clock cycles. Although Mars told me that the cruising speed was 150,000 kilometers per hour, for me everything around me was still, and all that surrounded me and Mars was the endless and incomprehensible dark void. In this huge darkness punctuated with a few twinkling stars, the boundaries of my time and space became blurred. I did not know whether it was five months of time or distance from my mother planet. The static time and space seemed like an eternal wall that could not be penetrated, and I did not even know why I had the urge to cross this wall or what was behind it or what could be changed.

Mars seemed to understand my mood and hardly joked anymore, rigorously carrying out each step of the return and avoidance operations, as well as updating the orbits and data of some other small celestial bodies along the return path assigned by the company. During most of the process, I did not have to intervene. When we arrived at Noah 2, Mars told me that the people on the mother planet had overcome the virus that had taken away the mother, and were now preparing for the next round of new virus epidemic. After five months of helplessness, despair, anger, and finally acceptance, I seemed to be able to accept the mother's departure calmly. Mars also began to try to communicate with me in a more relaxed way. When 3137 docked at the Noah's gateway and entered the gravity residential area, I saw Mr. and Mrs. Bryan already there. While crying, Mrs. Bryan hugged me, and Mr.Bryan hugged us tightly. I seemed to have no more tears, just holding them tightly. At this moment, any language was redundant.

That night, we stood on the balcony of the Noah orbital ring Hotel, overlooking the magnificent lights of the central city of Noah. Mrs. Bryan asked me for my bracelet and opened it, taking out a bag of glass beads and stringing them together. I knew it was my mother, and she had finally joined my father. Holding the bracelet that embodied both my father and mother, my feelings were complex, sad but also somewhat relieved.

Mr.Bryan asked me, "Alcon, do you want to come back to the mother planet and live with us for a while?"

I rubbed the glass bracelet on my hand, remembering what my mother said about taking her and my father away from the mother planet. "I want to apply for the KU exploration certification."

Mr.Bryan thought for a moment, put his hand on my shoulder, and his tone was like the day my father left years ago. "Okay, remember we're here for you. Let us know if you need anything."