Fortress Vader

Ten - Convalescence

The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to make you think a dark lord cares for you.
Year 1, month 7

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Kat

"Oh, fuck the gods! Kat!" Letty rushes to me and tucks an arm under mine, though it isn't necessary. I must look worse for wear. Annie beeps excitedly and leads us to the medbay. I stand in the emergency shower whose purpose is cleaning off chemical burns and such, and watch the blood run down the drain while Letty fumbles around and panics.

I ignore her, simply watching the liquid spin and disappear. There's more blood than there should have been, letting me know my feet are probably as cut up as they feel. Which also means my blood is mixing with what little is left of James'. The thought churns my stomach, which aches from gagging and screaming and running.

"Please talk to me," Letty whines. But not until the water runs clear do I look at her, first shutting off the water.

"James is dead," I say, more calm than I feel. Her face pales a noticeable shade or two.

"What? How? Why?" Huh. I don't think I have any of those answers.

"I...I guess I'm not totally sure. Lord Vader hinted that he was a shitty guy toward women, but honestly, I don't know."

I work to dry my feet, and she stays quiet a moment.

"What was out there, boss?"

I close my eyes, the word reminding me that James was under me, he was my responsibility. I should have shut him down rudely like Letty said.

"His body. I went to cut him down after you left, but apparently," I pause to pat the clip I always had on me only to find it empty. I lost my dagger again. I let out a grunt of frustration. "Apparently Vader wanted him there to send a message." I clench my eyes tightly. I need a bath and a way to give my mind a break before I try to understand this. Any of this.

"Hey," she says lightly before pulling me into a hug. My eyes widen in surprise, but it feels so good, her arms so warm. I missed this part of human connection, I realize. "This is shitty, but I've seen worse, boss," she says with a tiny shrug of her shoulders. She pulls back and wipes a tear from my cheek I hadn't felt fall. I'm reminded that she is probably older than me and has likely seen more of the galaxy, too. I wonder if she is referring to the Clone Wars or something else.

"Worse?" I repeat. Her smile is soft, and I can't place the emotion underneath.

"I'm not saying a body wouldn't bother me, just that I can handle it. Now go pull up one of your books and clean up. I'll take watch and get a cleaning droid in here to clean up the floor."

I shift to look behind her, surprised to see a light trail of blood from my feet. They don't look like footprints, just splotches of a deep red every half a meter or so.

"Shit," I murmur. She gives me another smile and pushes me toward the doors.

I do as she says, first taking a steaming shower, then filling up a hot bath with far too much soap and sinking into it with a book on my datapad.

When the water starts to cool, I climb out. Unfortunately, my body only hurts more, but my mind doesn't feel so fuzzy. In the mirror, I see unusual, thick lines of bruises on my thighs. The window pane. I truly almost fell.

Turning my head, there are bruises on the sides and back of my neck. Vader's hand. Would that fall have killed me? Probably not. But I definitely would have broken bones. I suppose that bruise was worth it, at least.