Fortress Vader

Seventeen - Iconoclast

Talent is cheaper than salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of killing.
Year 5

————————

Kat

The next evening I'm returning from a workout, slipping into my room unseen. I spent the entire day trying to force Yellow Eyes from my mind.

When I see a bouquet of yellow flowers on my bed, almost the same color as his eyes, that becomes impossible. I don't assume they are from him, actually, my mind seemed to stop trying to understand the random additions to my quarters. Anything I think I need just appears; I have yet to spend a single credit. Maybe they're from the stormtrooper.

I still think of Yellow Eyes, though, because they are a native Chandrilian flower called the eye of the sun, and they are the same unusual color as his eyes.

A tear slips down my cheek. I so badly want them to be from him. I remember his sultry praises the night before as he feasted on me. Stars—that had felt better than anything I've ever experienced. He acted like a man possessed. I desperately want him to stay, to let me taste him, too. Did he make me fall asleep? It doesn't matter. My chest aches for him. I can admit it to myself. Especially since I woke up in my bed with unexpectedly clean skin, clothes, and bedding, and knew he'd done it.

All that runs through my head, but now, in a single blink, rage rips through me, unexpected and violent in its intensity. I am already confused and scared and now someone wants me to feel more things and I don't want to.

Giving it no thought, I grip the flowers and storm out of my room, up the lift, and right out the main entrance. I probably look a fool, marching like this across the cliffside. But every miserable, too-hot step has my ire rising. I bypass the pathway that leads to the landing pads and the back of the fortress and go right to the edge of the main lava fall. Behind me, Fortress Vader stands in all its powerful glory, and below is tons of raging lava. I stand between two dangers, perhaps a fitting representation of my life.

My arm tugs back until my shoulder protests, and then I throw them with all my strength, letting out a frustrated cry with it. They fly away from me and fall farther and farther, growing smaller as petals burn off so close to the lava. And then, they disappear in the turbulent rapids. I may have cried if it wasn't so miserably hot.

I didn't notice Annie follow me out, but she beeps at me. A sad sound.

"Yeah, I know Annie."

Shit, it is too damn hot. It's midday, the sun beating down, sweat already forming droplets and falling from my forehead before evaporating. Despite the pressing temperature and my heart feeling suspiciously like it's breaking, I don't move, just staring off the ledge. The view is vast, but I'm not actually seeing anything. No, I'm too busy feeling.

So many damn feelings.

I don't even know his fucking name! How can I possibly feel so much? Seems like an evolutionary disadvantage if you ask me. I was a fool to not acknowledge these emotions sooner, to work with them. To overcome them. Now, I fear there is no going back.

"I don't want to feel these things," I mumble to my loyal droid.

"What things?" I startle and turn at his voice, and even as I hear pieces of the edge crack away and tumble to the ground below, the warmth spreading through my core is immediate. Damn his sensual voice.

I glance back at my feet, seeing I have about half a meter to the edge now. I would have taken a step away, but I'm nervous about getting closer to Yellow Eyes. Truly, which one is more deadly?