A Marauders' Daughter

43

Dear Alec,

I'm really hoping you will read this letter. (I had burned the ones he had send directly to me).

So, like in all my previous letters, I'll start at the beginning. I got your mum's letter, the one where she stated she was pregnant with you. And I'm going to be honest with you, I was in denial at first. We weren't together for that long, and then she was sent away on order of me and Dumbledore. I don't know if I think I would have gone into hiding with her if she asked back then.
Like I said, I was in denial. I never told anyone, maybe I should have. Maybe I should have told Remus or James, but I didn't. Just when I wrapped my head around it, I got the second letter stating you were born. She didn't give a name; it didn't say if you were a boy or a girl. I could understand why really, since I never answered the first one.

I was going mad, not only by the fact that I had a kid that I wasn't able to see, but the fact that Cor had to do it all by herself. That she had no one. The one thing I was happy about was that if I couldn't find you, nor did my mother or the death eaters. I thought it was best to leave it at that. That you and Cor would be safe far away from me, far from the war.

Then the war picked up speed, and I was being send from one assignment to the next. Then the Potters... I was sent to Azkaban immediately, had no trial and nobody listened to my pleas. I was in Azkaban for six, maybe seven years when two death eaters got the cells across from me. The first days, they laughed about how they'd killed the French witch who had ratted out their friends years ago and set the place on fire. I knew immediately who they were talking about, and I thought I had lost you both. My plan of keeping you away, of keeping you safe, failed.

I'm sorry I didn't try to find you. I think, given the time, I could've really loved your mother.

And I will understand, if you won't ever speak to me. But I really hope after some time, you will. Because there is nothing more in the world that I want then for a chance to get to know my daughter.
I want to know everything about Alexandra Fae Dubois, about Alec Lupin, about Alec Black. I want to know you.

I breathed in deep as I opened the next letter, and the next and the next. Most of the letters were mostly the same as the first one. In case I would've tossed them in the fireplace too. In the last letter, he told me about the house. That he had room for me and Remus, if we wanted to. I heard the shower turn off and I tucked the letters in my nightstand. I had just jumped out of the bed as Harry came back in dressed in pyjamas.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he rubbed the towel over his unruly hair. His eyes scanned my bed and nightstand in search of the letters but didn't say anything as he looked back to me.

"I'm just going to see if Remus is awake."

"Alright." He nodded. "Is it okay if I wander around a little?"

"Yeah, sure. Just don't go in the two rooms in the back of the hallway, that are Draco and Narcissa's rooms." I said as I headed to the door. Once I pulled the door open, I glanced over my shoulder and said. "Don't go in the basement." And with that I left the room.

"Remus?" I knocked on his door. I heard a bit of shuffling, then the door opened. I swallowed back a chuckle as Remus appeared in front of me in his plaid pyjama bottoms and his bathrobe open over his shoulders. His chest was bare, so I could see the scars plastered over his chest. The first one I saw on him when I was barely four years old, started at his cheekbone and stopped right under his armpit.