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i had indentations forming on my palm from how tightly i was squeezing my fist. i couldn't be mad at him, our relationship was one we kept behind closed doors. red flashed before my eyes when i saw the blonde with green eyes drag her fingertips along drew's bicep as they spoke.
we were at austin's house celebrating his birthday, and i was using every ounce of willpower to not rip out the hair of every girl flirting with drew at the party. we had to keep our relationship private, for our sake and for the public's sake. both of us agreed that we didn't want media outlets spilling gossip about our relationship, and that for the sake of our fans, it was better off as a secret. the rest of the cast knew we were together, and that was the way we were keeping it.
however, when we're in public drew has to act as if he's single and i'm left standing there, having to act like it doesn't bother me. maybe it was the way the ditzy blonde kept on getting closer and closer to him, or the fact that i had severe jealousy issues, but i couldn't handle it any longer.
"y/n, are you okay? you're staring at that girl like you're ready to jump," madelyn chuckled, breaking my attention away.
i groaned, slapping my hand to my forehead. "i don't think i can do this sneaking around anymore. i'm not cut out for this," i sighed, leaning my head on her shoulder, "if i have to watch one more chick push her boobs into his face i think i'm actually going to commit a crime."
she laughed at my comment, but i found no humor in it. she took a strand of my hair and lovingly tucked it behind my ear. "you either have to deal with the whole world being in your business or you're going to have to watch that the rest of your life," she added, pointing to drew and the girl.
i swallowed her words, accepting that this was the situation i willingly put myself through. i tossed a cracker into my mouth and slowly chewed, battling with the idea of forfeiting any sense of privacy. "what do you think i should do?" i asked her, hoping to find some clarity.
madelyn wrapped her arm around my shoulder and said, "if he's the one, you won't let the fear of heartbreak stop you from getting what you want."
i nodded along, and hugged her in appreciation. as she walked away, i was left sitting with my thoughts. i knew what i wanted, and i wanted him. every part of him. i shouldn't care who knew.
i looked up to find the blonde had walked off and a brunette with a beautiful smile had taken her place. it made my heart sink, wishing i could interfere with something that was killing me inside.
my mind filled with doubt, he was laughing at her jokes, and looking at her in a way that made my stomach sick. once i mustered up enough courage, i walked towards him. as i stepped closer, i overheard her flirtatiously telling him how good he looks with his hair short. rolling my eyes at their conversation, i tapped him on the shoulder.
"drew, can we talk for a sec?" i spoke, my lips pursed together. i knew if i didn't get the words off my chest now, it was never going to happen.
he excused himself from his conversation and walked with me towards the bathroom. i shut the door behind us and locked it. "what's going on, y/n?" he said, his voice stern.
"i need to be honest with you about something," i paused. "i thought i was capable of keeping our relationship a secret and that i could handle everything that came along with it, but i can't."
he brought his lower lip between his teeth and said, "so, what are you trying to say? do you not want to be with me anymore?"
tears began to pool in my eyes, and i had to bite the inside of my cheek to prevent them from falling. "i'm trying to say that i can't watch another girl flirt with you. it's torture, drew. i don't want to be a secret anymore and if you don't agree, then we need to end this now."
his face twisted, confused yet hurt that i suggested we ended our relationship. "do you think i enjoy being a secret? do you think i like talking to other girls? do you think i don't wish i could scream from the rooftops how in love with you i am?" he spat out, his chest heaving and his cheeks growing red from the breath he was holding.
my jaw fell as i took a step back, unable to process the pain he had been holding in.
"you're in love with me?" i muttered, connecting my eyes with his.
his eyes softened and his shoulders fell in exasperation. "if i wasn't in love with you, i wouldn't have been able to do any of this. i said yes because it was the only way i thought our relationship could work. i'm done with the secrets, y/n. and i know nothing anyone has to say will ruin it for me."
i wrapped my arms around his neck and we fell into an embrace. we held onto each other so tightly, expressing every built up emotion through our body. i pulled away for a moment to bring my face close to his. "i love you too, drew."
he tangled his hands in my hair before placing his lips on mine. i slowly deepened the kiss, wanting to savor every moment. his lips were hot against mine and i just couldn't find myself able to pull away.
as we finally stepped back, i released a breath of air. i ran my hands through my hair, having to face the reality of the situation. "are you sure this is what you want?" i persisted, still unsure if making our relationship public was a good idea.
drew grabbed ahold of my hand and lovingly stroked my knuckles. "there is nothing in this world i am more sure of," he assured, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
i softly smiled in appreciation, no longer feeling anxious. "i'm ready if you are," i replied, squeezing his hand tightly.
as he reached for the door handle, he faced me smirking to say, "i think i'm ready to show off how hot my girlfriend is."
stepping out of the bathroom, hand in hand with drew, i was ready for it all. the good, the bad, and the ugly.
