I was dead inside. It really was that fast, the violence came like flicking a switch and I was instantly shattered by the horrific abuse. I was traumatised by months of verbal, physical and sexual abuse ... he'd deliberately traumatised me so much that I was totally dependent on him. When he beat on me it would be hours, shoving me against walls, twisting my fingers and banging my head against things ... then he'd get aroused. I'd be sobbing and wailing like an animal, my face bright red and swollen from tears and injuries and I'd have to carry out degrading and painful sex acts. He'd always make it as humiliating as possible, he wouldn't look at me, he'd sodomise me, he'd wipe bodily fluids over me and he'd call me all sorts. If I refused to do it he'd rape me. This was my life.
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