Fighting You ✔

E X T R A | Embarrassing Tales

It's impossible not to envy those smooth, competent moms and dads we've all seen on the street or at the mall — the kind who can simultaneously collapse a stroller, hold the baby, and carry four shopping bags while looking as put-together as a cover model.

But not everyone's perfect. For example me. I put diapers on the wrong way and wrestle with our car seat straps for hours. Let me present to you our embarrassing tales.

Embarrassing Tale #1 

I was out of the house one day, and I guess we'd run out of diapers, because when I got home, Dylan had made one out of a maxi-pad, a dish towel, and the headband I use when I take off my make-up. It worked, but now I make sure that I'm never, ever out of diapers.  

Embarrassing Tale #2

When Noah, was still very young, I took him on a day trip to visit the her grandma (Dylan's Mom). I really wanted to leave them with a good impression, but I soon realized I only had one extra diaper in the diaper bag. However, I did have tons of nursing pads, so I slipped one into his diaper. As the day went on, I just changed the pads every time he wet one. They worked great and nobody ever found out! 

Embarrassing Tale #3 

Noah spit up  occasionally, like all babies, but one day when he was just 3 weeks old, he began to projectile vomit . I swear it shot from his mouth 4 feet across the room. Ironically, I had just watched 'The Exorcist' the night before, so I was positive he was possessed. I couldn't believe a tiny baby could have the ability to do this naturally. Hysterical, I called my parents, the emergency room, and a priest. When I got to the emergency room, the doctor explained it to me, and told me I was probably just overfeeding him. My priest laughed so hard he had to sit down.

Embarrassing Tale #4

I had only been home from the hospital for a couple of days and was just finishing a shower when Dylan screamed for me to come to the family room. I ran in and saw Noah, innocently lying on a towel on the floor. Dylan jumped up and ran to the bathroom, and I heard him throwing up like he had a horrible flu. He walked out a few minutes later, went into our bedroom, and came out with a gas mask on. He said he had never seen anything like that — Noah's first poop after the meconium. After that he changed her diaper with his gas mask on.  

These were my embarrassing tales. Share yours.

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{A/N: Sup Homiees. Surprise!!! Don't forget to check out the sequel called 'Princess Undercover' starring Noah. Also don't forget to...

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Lots of Love - Me}