R.I.P. My Holtzmann Heart

unforgettable pt. 1

*continuation of "something new" *

Stop thinking about her. Just stop. Stop thinking about how soft and pink her lips were or how she'd know exactly what to do to enhance the tingling feeling in the pit of your stomach. The way she would moan when you pulled her hair or leave love marks all over my body as if it actually meant something. As if she'd been doing this to me all of her life.

But it was one night. One fucking night at a party where I stepped out of my boundaries and was completely swooned.

My heart races as my thoughts trace back to that unforgettable night. My hand slides under my panties imagining her fingers instead of mine.

What am I doing . Honestly.

She's probably off with some other chick while I'm here touching myself to that one night that meant nothing to her.

I don't even know her that well for fucks sake she's a friends friend. Why am I so stuck up on her.

The buzzing of my phone takes me out of my trance. A text.

From Ryan: I hope you're feeling better, I'd love to catch a movie sometime :)

I instantly feel bad when I read the message. I've been telling Ryan I'm sick in order not to go out with him but eventually that lie won't work anymore. He's a nice guy and he really likes me. I just haven't been able to think of anything except Kate since that goddamn party.

To Ryan: Thank you, but I'm still feeling pretty shitty. Let's hope a tub of ice cream will help.

I don't even have ice cream. Wow why am I so terrible.

"HONEY COME DOWN FOR DINNER" yells my mom

"ok" I answer

"HONEY COME DOWN FO-"

"I HEARD YOU"

I can't wait till I find a place to live. I love my parents and all but I just need my space.

I got kicked out of my last apartment because my roommates kept throwing parties. The last party, the one with Kate, was the last straw for the landlord so she kicked us out. So here I am in my old room full of one direction posters I haven't taken down.

I go downstairs and sit at the dinner table full of delicious smelling food.

"you ok Audrey? you look out of it" says my mom

"I'm fine"

"are you thinking about Marcus?" she asks

"no . what ? why would I be thinking about Marcus"

"I understand. Breakups can be tough"

"I'm ok. That was months ago" I say instead because telling her I'm thinking about another female probably isn't the best option.

My dad turns the tv on, changing the channel to the local news. I internally roll my eyes as he makes controversial comments on the important matters.

The door bell rings and both of my parents look at me to get it. I stroll over to the door and open it curious of who would come here.

My eyes widen when I see Kate on the other side wearing a tight fitting black dress with the sexiest deep V neck imaginable. Her black heels match her dark makeup and red lips. Shit my heart is already racing. What if she can hear it oh my god I'm fucked.

"hey!" she smiles

"hey" I say back kind of speechless of what is going on