You And I: Family Time

Troye X

"I don't want to know." Connor cut off my rambling explanation and stared at me, shock evident in his face. When he turned and walked away from me, I wanted to follow him, to beg for his forgiveness but my legs wouldn't move. Instead, I just stood there, watching as the light turned on in Aiden's room and, shortly after, Tori's room.

When I saw Aiden walking across the house, towards the garage, I started to cry again, knowing that Connor was about to leave, taking both kids with him. He didn't even look at me when he made his way to the garage, determination making a false screen over his emotions. I heard the car start up and drive away but it wasn't until the silence had settled in again that I finally found myself moving, my legs carrying me through the house to our bedroom. I collapsed onto the bed in a heap, barely able to breath through my sobs.

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I don't know when I fell asleep but I woke with a damp spot under my cheek from all the crying. Sun was starting to come in through the window, casting a happy glow that didn't match my current mood. I briefly wondered if Connor was home but the thoughts were brushed off as I realised he was probably never coming home. Not after what I did to him.

Getting up, I wandered aimlessly through the house for a while, the silence getting to me and more tears started to fall. I hadn't thought there'd be any more tears left for me to cry after last night.

When I finally found myself back in our bedroom, I noticed my phone was flashing, signalling a new message.

From: Zoe (10.38pm)

Connor is with us. Will be until he's ready to talk. Disappointed in you, Troye. I thought you were better than that. Don't try and contact him. The kids are here too but they don't know why.

Reading Zoe's words I really felt the repercussions of last night's drama. All morning, I'd been thinking of Connor and how I'd hurt him. The kids had barely even entered my thoughts. What would they think, knowing what I'd done? Knowing how I'd hurt their papa in one stupid, meaningless moment in LA.

To: Zoe (7.43am)

I'm disappointed in me too, Zo. Thank you for being there for him. Tell him I'll be waiting when he's ready.

After I sent the message to her, I tossed the phone aside and sat down on the floor, my back against the bed. How was I supposed to fix this when Connor didn't even want to talk? My mind flashed back to the fight we'd had when we were on tour together when we first started dating. Compared to this, that fight seemed silly and ridiculous. But at the time, it had been the biggest thing in our lives.

*Flashback*

I was standing at the bar, watching people around me dancing, blissfully happy. I was almost ready to fly back home to Connor and the kids but I still had a few hours to kill so I headed out to a local bar for a drink or two.

"Hey there." I turned to see a guy with brown eyes looking at me, a drink halfway to his lips.

"Hi." I smiled politely at him.

"What're you doing here tonight?"

"Just relaxing. I'm flying home in a few hours."

"New York?" I laughed.

"How did you know?"

"You're Troye Sivan, right?"

"Oh. Yeah, I am." I almost shook my head at how stupid I'd been to think I wouldn't be recognised.

"I knew it." The guy crowed and slammed his drink down onto the bar. "I love your music. It's so inspiring."

"Thanks. But I have to owe credit to my manager and my family. They inspire me a fair bit."

"Of course." He tilted his head at the dance floor a little. "You want to dance?"

"Um..."

"It's okay, it's just dancing." Shrugging, I gave in. Dancing wasn't cheating. I was just enjoying a few hours in LA until I had to fly home to my beautiful family. He led me to the middle of the dance floor and we started dancing to the loud pop music. 

Around us, other people were dancing too, everyone letting the music take them. When the guy from the bar started getting a little closer, I didn't think to push him back. It wasn't like we were doing anything bad. It was still just dancing. Maybe a little inappropriate for the place but I just figured he was drunk.

"Are you going to tell me your name?" I called over the music, laughing as I watched him try to dance sexily.

"Maybe..."

"Aw, come on. It's only fair. You know who I am." I tried pouting but it didn't really work with how much I was grinning.

"Jacob." He said finally. "My name's Jacob."  And with that, he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pressed his lips firmly against mine. Automatically, I kissed him back until my mind caught up with what was happening and I pushed him off me.

"What are you doing?"

"It's just a kiss. Come on, no-one will know." He tried to kiss me again but I pushed him back, making him stumble a little.

"I'm married. Happily."

"Clearly. That's why you were checking out the guys on the dance floor before. And why you said yes to dancing with me."

"I wasn't. And I said yes because I didn't realise you would be a jerk who tried to get me to hook up with you." He reached out to grab my arm but I backed away.

"What did you say to me?"

"I'm not repeating myself because you heard exactly what I said. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch." I turned on my heel and walked away, my thoughts reeling over how to tell Connor what I had done.

*End Flashback*

Hours went by and I just sat there on the floor of our bedroom. I wanted nothing more than to be able to take back what had happened. But the other thing that bothered me was that Connor hadn't stuck around to let me explain.

I felt bad enough that it had even happened but to know that Connor didn't even know what happened, I felt even worse.

By the time night began to fall again, I had barely moved from my spot on the floor. I didn't have the energy to do any more than pull myself up onto the bed and fall into a fitful sleep.