I am Number Ten

CHAPTER 5

        The next few nights, I spend sleeping in the back of my car in a secluded area just outside of town that I now know as Laramie. At least, I try to sleep, my mind is abuzz with the days spent with Blake. I don't know what it is about him but we connect in such a way that keeps a smile on my face. But even though I want to dream about Blake, the same figure haunts my dreams continuously and with relentless determination. I don't know why of all people to haunt, he stalks me. Is it because I am more sensitive and weak that he or it finds a way to thrive in my head?

        When I can't sleep, I text Blake for as long as he stays awake and spends the rest of the night training my butt off. I attack any trees or bushes that are out there. I punch, kick, slice, block and deflect anything that I can to keep my senses as sharp as possible. I seriously try to work on my enhanced strength, my latest Legacy and practice my telekinesis by lifting boulders, stumps and tree trunks. I feel that I am getting stronger but at the same time, my insomnia makes me feel weaker. I usually wear myself enough to fall asleep for a while until the figure wakes me up again. This is all done in a constant cycle!

        In the mornings, I go to the small café for some coffee and to wait for Blake. It also gives me a chance to use the Internet in search of the others. I've been following the ongoing investigation of John and Henri Smith. They are accused of murder, forgery, terrorism and other things that are extremely stupid. The picture of the destroyed school is beyond the capability of two people. I know immediately that John is Garde, Henri is...was the Cepan and I figure that the school must've been where he had battled the Mogadorians. The piles of ashes enforce my theory and the fact that he is now missing means he's on the move. I'm partially relieved and scared for him at the same time. Is this the signal I've waited for? Or is it a trap? Either way, I was torn for a little while about whether to stay or go but knowing the Mogs and the government will be all around there for a while. I decide to keep my distance. Besides, getting to know Blake and getting stronger are my priorities right now.

        Once my search is done, Blake meets me and we walk to school together. We just chat and generally enjoy each other's company. I see Blake off, promising to meet him after school. I can tell his heart's not into it but I insist it if he wants to keep dating me. After that, I train any way possible, including swimming at the local pool and working out at the gym. I really try to stay aloof from others and ignore them but it is hard to go unnoticed in such a small town.  I limber up but it is hard not to show my enhanced abilities in public. The gym and swimming pool are really just for fitness, I enjoy most of the training sessions in the woods. There, I hold nothing back and I'm free to be my true self. Although...I really don't truly feel myself if Blake's not here. I train my butt off until it's time to meet Blake at 3:20.

        After that, I am all Blake's. I hang out in his garage while he works on an old T-ford model and asks him questions. He tries to explain to me how an engine works and how to oil the carburetor properly but I mostly just smile and kiss him on his greasy cheek to make him blush. The smell of melting rubber tires and rusty metal is actually comforting for me,  with Blake around. That is...until his step-dad comes and scolds him for doing it wrong or something that needs a reason to yell. Mr. Levitt reeks of booze and cigarettes, and it doesn't take a mind reader to know why Blake hates it here. I can tell Mr. Levitt really wants to hit him but I use my telekinesis to protect Blake from the flying fists.

I wait till his father stumbles off and I decide to venture the question.

"Where's your mom?" I ask softly.

        Blake stares at me over the engine he has his hands in. I immediately regret saying it and I blush to hide behind my hair.

It takes a few minutes for Blake to answer.

"She's really sick... dying of..." He stops short. I know at this point he's fighting back tears. I rush to his side and lift up his face so his eyes can meet mine.

"I-I'm sorry" I whisper.

"...It-it's about time you knew anyway...she's been sick with... Alzheimer's for a while and she...she's only got few miles left but before she left...she...she trusted this a-hole to care for her only son!"

He turns from me and pitches the wrench across the room and sits on the hood.

"She...she...she doesn't know what he...he does to me...she can barely remember her own name now or her son...but...but... I don't blame her at all..."

"You blame yourself," I say, really close to tears too. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him for an extra long time. "Don't blame yourself... you have no control over it..." I whisper, "It's what I've been doing my whole life too...My...my...Mom was the only one who understood me too and we did go through hard times she...she ended up ending her own life to save me..." I trail off and sob gently on his shoulder. Blake puts a strong arm around me and pulls me close.

But I'm not finished. "But blaming yourself, Blake is the poison that eats away at our souls. I should know...all my life I've felt like that and I've barely got a soul at all..."

Blake pulls out of our huddle and he stares at me. "What...what do...do you...?"

        I lock eyes with him. "I can't tell you right now...it...it's too hard but when I'm ready...I'll tell you. But you, Blake, have a loving soul that cares so deeply for your mother and...others...don't go on through your life thinking you're the reason why...cause you're not..." I'm so overcome that I lean forward and kiss him through the tears. I'm expecting him to shove me away but our lips remain together for a long moment. I pull away first.

"Your mother still loves you...you know that and what she's going through is not your fault and even though you...you live with this guy, you should remember that it was out of love for you. To...to care for you when she can't"

Our eyes meet again and deep down I know Blake's trying not to cry.

"It's okay..." I whisper..."let it all out...I know what it's like..."

We embrace and spend the rest of the night in an embrace.