I Won't Let Go [ BWWM ]

Chapter 49

New Life

**Journee**
{3 months later}
“Curtis do you have everything to keep EJ for the day? And what did you tell Ethan.” “Yes, I have everything and I told him I was sick.” I slowly looked at Curtis. “Now why would you tell him that?” “I couldn’t think of anything else to tell him.” “Fine. I’m leaving my phone. I told Ethan my charger broke last night and I would get another one today. I will get one before I come home that way I didn’t lie.” “Good cover.” “I should be back from Flordia late this afternoon and then handle some business that should be done tonight.” I went to pick up my baby boy out of his crib. I smile down at him. I whisper a thank you to God for not taking this child away from me.

“Journee your flight leaves soon.” “I know Curtis I just don’t want to leave my baby.” I say as I put on his hat to cover his head. His blue eyes just like his dads. “Awww Journee I’ll be here when you get back.” Curtis says as he kisses my cheek. I look at my son. “I’m going to end up killing your uncle.” Curtis and I laugh as I put EJ in his car seat. 

Curtis got EJ safely strapped in his car and I kissed EJ again before they left and I followed behind them on my way to the airport.  When I got in bored on the plane I smiled thinking of how much everything in my life at changed. 

When I got in Flordia the business didn’t take as long as I thought so I went to visit my mom and my son. I went and bought them some flowers then headed to the cemetery. Like always the wave of heartbreak and pain engulfed me as I got closer to their graves. 

“Hey momma, hey my precious baby boy. You’re a grandma again mom and Oliver you have a brother. I was so scared to get attached to him because I just knew I would have to bury him also. God knows how much I miss yall and want and need yall here with me.” Tears stream down my face. “I just want to hold yall one more time.”

Everything inside of me broke and my heart begins to cry. I laid in between both of graves and placed each of my hand's on top of their graves. I just laid there and cried.

** Ethan**

I went to check on Curtis since he called out sick today. I knock on the door and I hear movement. Curtis opens the door with a shocked look on his face then tried to quickly close the door. I rushed and put my foot in the door.

“Ethan, shouldn’t you be at work?” Before I could speak I heard a baby cry. Curtis' face became more surprised. “Is that a baby I hear?” “No, that the television. Let me go turn that down and go sleep.” The baby cries got louder and more intense. “Curtis” He opened the door and I followed the cries to the living room and saw a small crib I looked down and saw EJ.

“Curtis, what is my son doing here? And where is my wife? Why did you call out sick? When did you get my son?” I asked as I reached down and picked up EJ. “One question at a time Jeez Ethan.” I gave Curtis a questionable look. “Journee is in Flordia. And she asked me to keep EJ.” “Why is she in Flordia.” “I don’t know.” I kissed EJ and gave him to Curtis and went back to work wondering what is going on with my wife. 

{Journee}

When I got back from Flordia I went home to take a shower and got ready for tonight. I had called and asked Ethan’s boss if he could have Ethan work until nine tonight and he agreed. I just made it to the firehouse before he got into his car.

“Ethan.” He turned and faced me. “Why were you in Flordia.” “Come with me.” “Journee talk to me. Why did you go?” I took Ethan's hand and dragged him to my car. We took off down the road and we sat in silence. When we finally reached our destination Ethan spoke. “What are we doing here?” “Come on let’s go in.” 

We walked into the empty place. “Journee why are we at the strip club you use to work at? Is this your way of telling me you stripping again because the answer is no. You are a mother and a pastor’s wife.” I laugh and kiss Ethan. I stepped up on the biggest stage. “I can’t tell you how many times I was on this pole and the countless dances I did up here. Not to mention all the eyes that were on me.” “Journee why are we here?” I got down off the stage.

“Baby sit down please.” He sat down and I sat down across from him. “I am not stripping anymore. I went to Flordia because my mom had left money for me but I couldn’t touch it until I turned 19 years old well by that time so much I had I went and talked to a bank manager and asked if they will keep it until I am in a better place in my life. They agreed. I went and showed them I was married now and a mom. I withdrew all the money but opened up another account there. They have been good to me and I didn’t want to just leave them high and dry so I started an account for EJ. It has $2,000 in it already.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me. How much was in the account. And why are we here?” “It was over $900,000.” I watched Ethan’s eyes get big. “I bought this place from Stan. I want to change it into a place for kids who are like me. I want them to be able to have a place to come to. I know it is things we have to do but I just want us to be a positive light here and have a place for kids who maybe homeless, parentless or just having a hard time.”

I stood up and took Ethan's hand and we walked throughout the club and I told him of all of the changes. “Sweetheart do you have any idea how amazing you are?” I looked around and saw my life here as tears spilled from my eyes. “Whats going on. Talk to me, sweetheart.” “EJ. This life I had here. How do I tell him what I was or who I am? I’m not going to keep it from him or hide it. I won’t lie to him, Ethan.”

“Journee, we will tell our son together when the time is right and I agree we will not lie to our son and we will get through this together. We are a family and what you did here and other places are the past you have out grown that and you are in a different place in life now. I love everything about you and yes that includes your past. Love, your flaws, and your past are what I fell in love with you first. I loved the darkest parts of you before I could love anything else. What you want to do with this place I admire you for that and what ever I can do to help you know I will. I believe Tristan is looking down on us right now smiling and he is happy with what we are doing.”

“I miss him so much.” “As do I. He was a great kid.” “I’ve lost so much I just don’t want to lose anymore.” “Baby everything is going to be ok. I promise we are going to have a great life together with God leading us everything is going to be just fine.”  We decided to go get EJ and go home. 

I walked into the bedroom and saw Ethan playing with EJ on our bed. Our son smiling and Ethan's smile just as big. ‘Thank you, God, for everything I can’t repay you or thank you. You kept me so I could see moments like this. Thank you’

I walked over to the bed and sat and watched them play then I joined in. “I love you Journee.” “I love you, Ethan.” We both look down EJ who was smiling at us.  

Authors note:

Hey everybody as yall can tell the book is about to end. I am sad to see it coming to an end myself. I actually have a great idea for a part two of this book if you guys want me to do it. It is completely up to all of you if I will do a part two of this book. Let me know in comments.

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