Four Broken Pieces ✓

Two

The minute the cool air hit my face; my breathing came a bit easier. I knew deep in my heart that my mother didn't want to hurt me. In fact, I could even go as far as to say that she loved me. The only problem was that she loved modeling more.

It wasn't even love at this point. It was an all-consuming addiction that was destroying her as it was destroying me. Her world revolved around modeling and my world revolved around her. The moment her world of fashion and beauty crashed and burned, she'd burn with it and she'd drag me down with her.

I came to a pause at the outer edge of the park. 10 rounds around the trail was my first task for the day. My stomach growled loudly and I almost doubled over in pain. If I wanted this pain to end, I'd have to finish these laps. With that thought in mind, I ran along the trail, hair whipping and eyes burning. I probably looked like a mad woman to everyone else.

Or there would be a few sick people who'd admire the way I looked running. I pushed myself faster at that thought. My breaths came in short pants. By the end of the 10th lap, I collapsed against a tree, gasping for air.

A few people looked at me with pity, a few with curiosity and one even looked with undiluted lust that had my empty stomach lurching. At that moment, I felt anger course through me. Anger for how weak I was, so weak that not only had I collapsed after 10 laps but I hadn't even had the strength to tell that stranger to mind his own business. According to my mother, I lived my life under cameras 24/7. From a very young age, she'd made me paranoid to the feeling that someone was always watching. If someone was always watching, then I could never be myself.

I slowly got up, my legs aching and looked at the list. Weights training at the gym for 2 hours and then, I'd finally get breakfast before another set. I shoved the list back into my pocket and started at a slow pace to the gym. I'd never been good at weights probably because I always feared my arms would snap under pressure. They were barely able to hold books at school.

Maybe if my arms snapped my mother would finally notice what she'd done.

I mounted the steps to the gym, my usual nervousness hitting me like a concrete wall as I headed to my corner.

Just a bit more, a bit more, I thought over and over again as I lifted the first weight.

I walked out of the gym on the verge of tears, my stomach seeming to tear me apart from the inside. Breath. Focus. Get a cab and go home, I thought. Just as I was hailing a cab, a searing pain shot through my stomach, seeming to trace a path of fire to my heart. I let out a scream, and the dam broke as tears flowed like a river out of me. They'd been pent up for far too long. 

Maybe this was it. Maybe my time was finally up.

I felt an aching sadness at the thought. My mother had already gone insane without my father Without me...I didn't want to think of it.

As thick tears began to obstruct my vision, I clung to any chance of survival. I'd missed my chance to do things I wanted, that I loved. To continue ballet like I'd learned before my dad had left me. To visit the finest art museums in the world and pursue art in college. To learn to be strong again and to find people who loved me for what was on the inside. So many things I wouldn't get because I hadn't taken action when I'd needed to. In the end, this was ultimately my own fault.

As my eyes drifted shut, I didn't say a prayer to god, or wish for any of those things. I only said one thing because that was all that truly mattered at this point.

"I forgive you mother. It was my fault, not yours, for being born beautiful."

The darkness slowly faded as I opened my eyes to silence the irritating beeping at my side. A heart monitor, I realized and confusion swept over me before it hit me like a ton of bricks. I shot up and glanced around at the white walls around me before I saw a figure curled in the corner. My mother, with tear stained cheeks and a jacket wrapped around her, sleeping soundly in the armchair.

Had she cried for me? Had she been worried? I couldn't help the smallest tear that escaped my eye. I'd always known that she'd loved me deep down, even if she'd never shown it.

"Oh good you're awake."

I turned to the door to see a nurse looking at me with a kind smile on her face. I smiled back before I noticed something I hadn't noticed before.

A jacket was wrapped around me. It was a male's jacket with initials I.N. printed on it.

"Whose is this," I asked as I realized it wasn't my mother, but someone else who'd saved me. I almost laughed out loud as I realized how delusional I'd been when I'd thought that she'd somehow heard my last words and come to save me.

"There were three boys who found you and rushed you to the hospital. One of them probably left their coat on you by accident," she said as she came to take the jacket from me. Before she could, I took a sniff of it for no reason.

It was a musk of some sort that reminded me of a burning fire. It sent warmth into my veins and I clutched the jacket more tightly.

"Do you mind if I keep this," I asked and she nodded and stepped back. It was so odd to want to hold on to a stranger's jacket, but it was the only thing I had of the people who'd saved me. This jacket would be a reminder that I was worth being saved.

"That was a very close call Aphrodite. Those boys saved your life," she said softly. I nodded meekly as her eyes seemed to burn through me. It was like she could see exactly why I'd come so close to death today, like she could see my whole story. 

"Roe?"

I looked to the corner of the room to see my mother slowly waking up, her blue eyes going wide when she saw me awake.

"Oh thank god Roe you had me so worried," she cried out as she practically flung herself at me. My ribs might have bruised on impact but I didn't care as I wrapped my arms around her. She hadn't hugged me like this in years and it was the nicest feeling in the world.

"I'll leave you two alone," said the nurse quietly as she slipped out of the room. My mother drew back and looked me in the eyes, which were now filled with tears. They were tears of joy that squeezed my chest in a way that had become foreign over the years.

"Are you okay now," she asked as she slid her fingers over my body. They weren't invasive but worried and frantic. I gently caught her hand in mine, a quiet bubble of happiness surrounding me.

"I'm alright," I said, squeezing her hand for emphasis. She'd been so worried...for me. 

"Next time I'm not letting you work out alone," she promised and my bubble popped just like that. My heart turned to lead and dropped to my stomach and I tried to stomach my horror as my tears of joy turned into real ones. My breathing came out in light pants but one thing became crystal clear as that familiar gleam returned to my mother's eyes. I fought to keep a scream from ripping out of my throat as disappointment tore my heart to shreds.

She'd never stop. Her obsession overcame any love she'd ever had for me.

In that moment I made the most selfish decision I'd ever made in my life.

I couldn't shatter her world, but I could sever her connection to it.

My Beauty. 

I hope you like this chapter! Please don't be silent readers. If you liked this chapter, vote and comment below. Any feedback is appreciated (:

-ASH