Four Broken Pieces ✓

Twenty Three

I couldn't breath; much less give him an answer of any level of coherency. My mind was whirling in a storm of confusion, sadness, and anger but one thought was clear. If I had an ounce of common sense, I would walk away. This world he spoke of, in which a madman gained amusement out of blinding a boy, was not mine. I'd perish in this world. My legs threatened to give out at the thought of something so horrifying and through description alone; I could here Alexei's screams echo in my own ears and my throat clogged with tears in response. I had the sudden urge to find him, wrap in my arms and never let go.

I should walk away, try to forget these boys and find someone who didn't bring so much danger with them. But somehow, my lips refused to form the right words, and my legs remained glued to the ground. Like a slap across the face, the truth appeared like a ray of sunlight parting the clouds.

I'd fallen for them, all three of them as fast as the snow melted when the sun lit the sky and as sure as the blood that ran through my veins. Perhaps it wasn't love just yet, but my heart wasn't willing to let go of them anytime soon. This was it. Unknowingly, I'd given them my heart and I couldn't take it back. He'd asked me a question to which there would only ever be one answer.

I wasn't walking away. Not now. Not ever.

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. All I know is that I'm not walking away," I said and he looked like he was ready to strangle me out of sheer frustration.

"Don't you understand what I'm saying Roe? Your life is on the line along with so much more. There are things worse than death. Why can't you just walk away," he lashed out, taking steps forward until he towered over me, his eyes blazing an inferno.

"Because I can't," I said, matching his tone with anger of my own as I shoved him back and took a step forward. This was my decision, my life on the line. Why did he keep pushing me to choose one way when I knew he could see I was fixed on the other?

"Why, " he asked again, fire heating his words and I faltered, my fists rapidly clenching and unclenching. Should I tell him the truth? Did he even feel the same way?

"Because, because," I said, stumbling as I rocked back and forth on my heels. He stepped closer to me, his eyes blazing with an intensity that shook me to my core.

"Because what" he all but growled out and before I could stop myself, before I could change my mind out of fear of rejection, I put one hand up to bring his lips down to meet mine.

I felt his surprise, felt his muscles stiffen under the palm of my hand but I couldn't care less as I twined my arms around his neck and leaned up to deepen our kiss. Slowly, so slow that it was almost painful, he responded. His arms came around me to sweep me off the ground before pressing me up against the banyan tree behind us. I couldn't think straight, couldn't breathe as his tongue parted my lips and explored my mouth. Oh god. For a moment, all there was in this world was he and I and this heated kiss that had blood rushing in my ears and my heart burning with desire. Lightning could've struck and incinerated the tree behind us and I still wouldn't have stopped kissing him. Not for the world. So this was what it felt like, to have a kiss that made you feel like you'd come alive, like he'd made me feel alive. It was like someone had set every nerve ending on fire till my body seemed to blaze as bright as hellfire itself. I pressed closer, twining around him like he was all I had to hold on to, curling my fingers in his hair and his answering groan was music to my ears. In that moment, every worry, every regret, every problem faded to mist as his tongue swept across the roof of my mouth. I could do this forever, kiss him, be with him, I thought and as if in answer, I felt his callused fingers trace up my shoulder before reaching my hair and pulling it slightly, to deepen our kiss even further. His lips moved feverishly, urgently, like he was afraid I'd change my mind and break away from him. I was going to lose my mind; I was going to drown in this moment, right here and now if this went any further. So with every ounce of effort, I could muster up, I pushed him away.