It's Always Been You.

Chapter 12

Life is unpredictable. One minute everything is going just fine and the other minute things starts to go all wrong.
I still can't digest the fact that I'm married to Shahveer. My mind is not ready to accept him. At this very moment I feel like I've lost. Just because of his one mistake, I've started hating his existence.
"Chalo Alizeh" Anoushay tried to help me stand
I felt like life is taken out of my body and I can't move. Everything seems to be blur and my mind wa not functioning well. I couldn't make out most of the things people were saying nor did I know who was with me.
All I could feel was people helping me to walk towards the car.
No one really talked to me about the nikkah. My parents didn't found it important to come up to me and give justification. To be honest, I didn't know whom to blame, my parents or my fate.
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"Alizeh, are you okay?" My brother inquired upon my arrival to our house. I couldn't find words to answer him. The last words I spoke was qubool hai and after that I didn't had the courage to say anything.
My brother hugged me and assured me that everything will be alright. Little did he know that nothing can be alright.
"I want to talk to Alizeh." I heard my dad's voice "Alone." He emphasize and one by one everyone left the room.
"Look Alizeh, I know you might have many questions in your mind and I know this all must be really hard for you."
He paused for a second maybe expecting me to say something but getting no answer he continued
"I didn't wanted this all for you but I was helpless." His voice cracked as he spoke those words "no one would marry a girl whose groom ran away on their wedding day. I didn't want people to talk ill about you." He tried justifying himself
"By forcing your daughter to marry a guy who she despise? I thought you wanted the best for me but you proved all you cared about was your respect. You didn't force me to marry him out of pity for me but you did it to protect your own respect. You didn't cared about my life, all you cared about was your respect. You were too coward to face the people that's why you thought of getting me married to anyone. And not just anyone but to the person who was about to rape me." I furiously shout those words at him. I didn't cared what he would say but all I knew was to make him realize his mistake.
He was taken aback by words and couldn't utter any words for the next few minutes
"What do you mean by ra-that?" He questioned
"Why do you care? Did you came in and ask my permission for the marriage? Did you ask me if I wanted to marry him? No, all you did was made me helpless to sign those freaking papers." I stood up while screaming at him
"Alizeh, I had to do this. For you.. for us. Your mother fainted, every other relative was talking bad about you. I couldn't let my family break." My Dad said with abit annoyance in his voice.
"So Mom knows about this? About this marriage?"
He remained silent and I got my answer
"You didn't even found it important to tell amma?" I cried
"You're changing the subject. What do you mean by rape?"
"I don't find it important to tell you anything. You decided this fate for me, right? So this will be your punishment to see your own daughter suffer." With that I left the room.
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"Alizeh, please open the door." My brother was banging my door for past hour. I didn't want to be with someone. All I wanted was to be alone. I removed my makeup and jewelry. I got changed into my regular clothes and I've been sitting on the praying mat for quite a long time.
"Alizeh, if you don't open the door then I've to break it."
I got up and unlocked the door. I went back to the praying mat and sat down. I had zero energy to talk to someone. I feel like I might start shouting at people because at this very point I blame everyone for ruining my life.
"Alizeh? Look at me."  He commanded "if you're not happy with this marriage, I'll talk to Mom and Dad. They won't force you to be in this relationship." He tried his best to assure me
"They wouldn't have forced me to marry in the first place." I said in a hush voice.
"Shahveer is not a bad guy. Atleast he didn't ran off leaving you alone like zubair"
"What he did was worst." I glared at him
"Atleast talk to him maybe-"
"I don't want to see his face." I screamed "will you please leave me alone."
"It's dinner time"
"I don't want to eat. I just want to be alone. Will you please go and don't let anyone come upstairs."
He looked at me with sympathy. The look on his face showed that he wanted to help but he couldn't.
I felt bad for lashing at him but at this moment I didn't care about anyone.
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It was around midnight when my phone rang. I unconsciously answered the call, expecting someone to talk on the other end but no one said anything. After a few seconds I shut off my phone and went to the bed. I laid down for abit, my finger massaging the temples due to severe headache.
"Alizeh?" I heard his voice. I quickly got off my bed to see him in front of me. I looked for my scarf but it was on the other side of the bed. I couldn't get it since he was blocking the way. I kept on looking at my scarf. I felt almost naked in front of him. I didn't want him to see me like this.
He realized my uneasiness and followed my gaze. The next moment he grabbed my scarf and handed it over to me.
I without thinking twice, grabbed it and wrapped it around me.
"Alizeh? " he started to say something
"This was all your idea, right?" I raised my voice "this was all you wanted. To humiliate me, to make me feel helpless, to force me in this marriage. It was all your idea."
"That's not true. They too plead me to marry you. I had no idea-"
"Liar. You were a liar and you're still lying." I screamed at him as tears start flowing down my cheeks.
He took a step towards me
"Don't you dare. Don't you ever come near me." I took a step back while saying that
He stopped and looked at me with tears in his eyes
"Whatever I did.. I know is not justified. I'm extremely sorry"
"Sorry? Sorry for what? Are you apologetic for marrying or trying to stop my marriage or for trying to rape me?"
His eyes dropped to the ground as I said that
"What happen? Are you now ashamed of facing me?"
He didn't answered instead he looked at the other side
"I didn't mean to" he tried to speak
"You don't mean to do most of the things. You know what, I don't believe in this marriage. I don't accept a rapist as my husband. It's better to die than to marry a guy like you. I don't care if my parents are against the idea but I won't be accepting you as my husband." I let my frustration
"I want a divorce."