Negan || En || The Walking Dead

Chapter 20 - I Believe You

Although she tried hard to stop them, a few tears began to fall quietly on the girl's cheeks. She was as weak as she had never been: she had opened up, she had trusted even if she was doubtful and had been unfailingly disappointed. She felt stupid for having been able to think that maybe there was something different about him from what appeared, but maybe it wasn't.
Anger and pain took over and this time Kat would let them do it.

Meanwhile Negan had remained silent to observe her. He was angry too, but he knew it was his fault, even if he wouldn't have admitted it. He was proud and stubborn but he cared about Kat and seeing her like that made him suffer... All because of him.

<Kat...> he said softly
<Kat darling> spoke to her as if she were afraid to break her <I'm sorry, I seriously didn't want all this> Negan got up and was slowly approaching her. He was afraid she could have jumped on him at any moment to beat him, but Kat hadn't looked at him yet.

<Honey, listen, I know you're angry and disappointed, but I can explain. I thought this would allow us to spend some time together quietly but I would never have thought of such a thing. Fuck... I don't know what to say Kat, I'm sorry, I really am> now he had almost arrived to her <I know you would beat me and I would deserve it but understand me, I...> at that moment Kat finally looked at him in the eyes . His eyes swollen with tears stared at Negan's: he could not escape, could not hide, no more. He was no longer the one who laid above the law, as a king on the chessboard, he had become a mere pedestrian, Kat had changed him, and he had only noticed it now. He would have done anything for her, anything to get her back with him.

He approached her and hugged her tightening her despite her attempts to wriggle away. He wouldn't have let her go for anything in the world. He couldn't lose her.

<Kat... I have been stupid. I've been playing with you and your feelings for all this time... But I swear to you that seeing you like this is killing me: I never wanted to hurt you. I'm not good at words and maybe not even with facts but I can swear to you that there's nothing more important than you in the world. And knowing that I was the one who reduced you like this hurts me, but I deserve it. At the beginning I just wanted you to be another notch on my belt but knowing you better I understood that you were worth a lot more. You're so much more Kat. I never told anyone else because no one else has ever been like you. It wasn't just sex... It was something more, and still is. If it can help you believe me, I've never stopped to sleep with any of the other girls here. None apart from you. I have never exposed myself so much to any other Kat. You're special and I'm sorry if I hadn't show it to you. I'm wrong, I know... And if you do not want to see me anymore, I  understand...> a tear fell on Negan's face. He was sincere and meant every word of what he had said. Maybe he was right, he was not good with words but Kat had understood what he meant. Seeing him so wounded, helpless and above all sincere, embracing her had made her return a bit of hope: then maybe there was really something good about him. But this time Kat needed something more to get back to trust him.

The girl detached herself slightly from the man's grip to look him in the eye: the most cruel and feared man on Earth was sitting in front of her, destroyed.

<I believe you Negan ... But this won't br enough to get me back> and so saying he gave him a kiss on the forehead.

The man burst into tears.

He had lost her.

Kat got out of the bed leaving Negan alone and destroyed, and left the room.