Three Orphan Pilgrimage (The Alternative to TWDG's Final Season) [Walking Dead]

89. Wounds

Clementine paced back and forth across the carpet, her nerves keeping her from staying in place for more than a few seconds. She eyed her radio sitting on the table. Clem didn't know how long it had been since Sarah's last call; a few minutes or half an hour all felt too long to her. Clem kept walking over to the radio, making sure the volume was turned all the way up and that it was working. Then she picked it up and had to resist the urge to call Sarah, fearful any sudden contact may put her in danger.

Not long after that, she'd move to the nearest window, peering out past the curtain for only a second before moving onto the next one. Two days they spent looking for the origins of the lone walker Clem shot, crawling along at a snail's pace, fearful they'd call a herd down upon themselves if they went any faster. On the third day, Sarah spotted a couple of walkers near the edge of one of bigger towns they had encountered; it was right off the interstate. They spent all day yesterday preparing and studying this small city from a safe distance, all so Sarah could search it today, alone.

Clem couldn't see the city from the windows, nor any signs of walkers, or Sarah. They had driven far away from the danger the night before and Sarah had taken their remaining bike into town, leaving Clem with nothing to do but sit and worry. It was around noon now and Sarah had called four times since she left, and each time she said the same thing; there weren't a lot of walkers, she hadn't found much food, and she was okay. Then Clem would be stuck waiting again, terrified the next time Sarah called something will have changed for the worse, assuming she did call again.

Heading to the bedroom, Clem checked Omid next. She found he was still quietly resting in his crib, clutching his stuffed elephant tightly to his chest. Little had changed with him in the last few days, much to Clem's dismay. He had been more cooperative with eating lately, needing only a small bit of coaxing at meals. Clem wanted to go fishing again, but they hadn't seen anywhere good to fish on their way, and Sarah didn't want Clem to go out on her own, leaving her to watch a mostly quiet Omid sleep away the days in his crib.

With nothing else to do, Clem shuffled back to the front. She eyed the equipment laid on on the table next to her radio; her new gas mask, her new tomahawk, her gun, bullets, all waiting to be collected on a moment's notice. Sarah had told Clem not to come looking for her if she didn't come back, and Clem said she agreed; she lied.

Clem had gathered her gear right after Sarah had left, ready to rush to her aid the moment there was even a hint of trouble. She told herself she couldn't do anything less after Sarah had saved her, but growing in the back of the mind was the fear of what she'd find if she did go out there. Heading over to the fridge and cracking open the door, Clem could see her new coat lying on the rack, freshly smeared with blood from the walker she shot a few days ago, and she dreaded putting it on.

After checking the radio and realizing she had started her whole routine all over again, Clem sat down on the couch. All morning she had been trying to keep herself occupied, to keep it out mind, but it was hopeless. Clem couldn't stop thinking back to the day before they left Spokeston, back to the girl she killed in a moment of panic. Whoever she was, she was probably just out looking for food herself and thought there was a walker nearby, and Clem had murdered her.

She had killed someone, lied about it to Sarah and the person that girl had known. Clem had always hoped she'd just forget about it someday, but it never happened. In fact, now it was haunting her every thought, like a vengeful spirit whispering in ear, telling Clem that it had come to claim Sarah in retaliation for her crime. Staring at the radio, looking at the two faded stickers that hadn't quite peeled off yet, Clem wanted nothing more than to hear Sarah's voice right now.

She suddenly found herself wishing Morgan had killed her. All morning, she couldn't shake the feeling she would pay for what she did in Spokeston, pay for the life she took, but if it had happened then, at least Omid would have been spared the pain he suffered. But now, sitting there in utter silence, her chest tightening as she found it harder to breathe, Clem was terrified that Sarah would be taken from her today.