Underground (Levi x Reader)

Trigger

The next morning I entered the mess hall to loud, boisterous chatter from the cadets.

It was a free day, the day where there were no missions outside of the walls, a day when technically, if they didn't have duties, they could all do as they pleased.

The excitement was evident in the air as I passed through the tables of laughing cadets and sat down at the officers' table, cup of weak coffee held in my hand.

I sat next to Hange, who was studying a large stack of disarrayed papers that lay in front of her, and Erwin gave me a slight nod of his head in greeting from across the table as I sat down.

I glanced over to where Levi usually sat and noted that he hadn't joined us this morning. I took a sip of my coffee and flicked a hand in the direction of his empty spot. "Where's Corporal Sunshine this morning?"

Hange looked up from her paperwork. "Corporal Sunshine. I like it. That's a new one he's going to hate." She threw a grin in my direction.

Erwin took a drink of his own coffee and, setting the mug down on the table, said, "He was up bright and early this morning and off to the barracks before everyone. Something about cleaning duty and how he couldn't wait to 'make those brats clean up their own filth.'"

Hange furrowed her brow. "I've never quite understood Rivaille. His obsession with cleaning and neatness is odd, to say the least."

I glanced over at Hange, whose hair looked like it hadn't been washed in days and whose glasses were so smudged I wondered how she could see out of them, and then said, "He grew up in a place that was never clean, surrounded by constant filth and dirt. It does crazy things to your head. When you finally get out of a place like that, you tend not to want to return to any semblance of that life again." I lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug. "Ackerman's trigger into his past is dirt. It's understandable he doesn't want anything around him that reminds him of that godforsaken place."

Hange was staring at me, studying me as I finished speaking, and suddenly her eyes lit up. "Hmm. Interesting, very interesting. I find human behavior so fascinating." She cupped her chin in her hand and leaned on her elbow toward me. "What's your trigger into your past, (F/N)?"

I felt my stomach leap nervously at her question and I took another drink of my coffee to cover up the look that came across my face at her words. I knew what the trigger into my past was, but I couldn't possibly tell her. I couldn't tell anyone. Not ever.

I gave her a weak smile and said as lightly as I could, "Me? I don't have one. I had an uneventful childhood."

"But didn't you grow up in the Underground as well? No one grows up in that place and comes out unscathed. So there must be something...." Hange studied me and I knew she could read me like an open book. Suddenly, her eyes lit up again and she sat up straight. "Oh! OH." She reached for some of the papers in front of her, moving to write something down, and in her hurried movement, knocked her cup of coffee off the table.

It splashed all over me, drenching the front of my shirt and running down onto my pants as the emptied cup fell into my lap.

The hot liquid hitting my skin instantly took me back to another place and time.

FLASHBACK

I handed Levi the chipped teacup full of steaming liquid with a proud smile and said excitedly, "Look, Levi! I made dinner all on my own. Aren't you proud of me?"

He glanced at what was in the cup through his fingers and gave me a grin. "It looks great, (F/N). Where did you find it?"

I pulled out my own teacup, careful not to drip any of the precious liquid as I spooned some into my cup, and said, "Someone threw it out. Can you believe it?" I glanced down at the hot liquid that filled my cup and smiled again at the sight of the piece of leather that floated at the top of the water. I looked up at Levi again. "They threw out a perfectly good shoe, like they didn't know you could use it to make delicious soup!"

He took a sip from his cup. "It's good! You should have some too."

I raised my cup to my lips, ready to take a sip as well, when my hands slipped on the worn porcelain. The cup dropped from my hands, and I fumbled to catch it, but was too late. The hot water spilled all down the front of my dress and muddied the dirt at my feet. I looked down at the worn piece of leather that lay in the mud, and started to cry.

Instantly, Levi was at my side, an arm around my shoulders. "It's okay, (F/N). Don't cry. Here, you can have mine." He held out his own teacup to me.

I sniffed and said through my tears, "But there's no more. You won't have any if I take yours."

He gave me a smile and pushed the teacup into my hands. "It's all right. I already ate once today. I'll be fine. I want you to have it."

FLASHBACK END

Hange stood up quickly, knocking her chair over in her rush, as she said frantically, a look of horror on her face, "Oh, (F/N)! I am so sorry! I'll go get some napkins. Hang on!"

She rushed off to find some napkins in the mess hall.

I stood and set the empty coffee cup on the table, letting out a long sigh as I looked down at my stained uniform. I glanced over at Erwin. "When Hange comes back, tell her not to bother. I'll just go and change."

He nodded and I left the mess hall, cursing under my breath as the wet material of my pants chafed against my legs.

I walked out into the bright morning sunlight and covered my eyes with my hand for a moment, letting myself get adjusted to the change in lighting. When I could see again, I resumed my walk back to the officer's quarters.

I passed the cadets' barracks on my way, and paused for a moment, catching sight of Levi standing outside the building, barking orders at some cadets who held mops and brooms and buckets in their hands.

I couldn't help but smile a bit at his outfit. He had a handkerchief tied around his mouth to block out the dust and he wore normal, work roughened clothes, not his usual corporal uniform. He held a broom in his hand, lifted slightly threateningly toward the cadets as if he wasn't afraid to use it as a weapon if need be.

The cadets' rushed inside, hurrying to do his bidding, and he turned, catching sight of me watching them. He raised an eyebrow at me as he saw the stains covering my uniform and pulled the handkerchief down from his mouth as he said sarcastically, "Oi, (L/N). Looks like we need to clean you next."

I shot him a glare. "Don't insult me when you're wearing that getup. You're giving me too many insults to work with here." I motioned to the handkerchief around his neck and the broom in his hand.

He scoffed. "Tch. You'd do well to take some lessons from me. You're filthy."

I rolled my eyes at him and started to walk away. "Whatever. I don't have to take this from you today, Ackerman. It's a free day, which means I can ignore you all I want and no one can say anything about it, not even you."

"(L/N)."

I stopped for a moment as he called out my name. I glanced over my shoulder at him. He had the broom propped lazily across his shoulders now, his hands on either side of the handle as he studied me for a brief second before saying, "I'm sure being that dirty is driving you crazy. Go clean up before you lose it on someone other than me."

He turned and walked back into the barracks.

I stood there for a moment, contemplating what he had said, knowing that the only reason he knew how tense my stained clothes were making me was because they would have the exact same effect on him. I groaned inwardly.

How was I supposed to stay away from him, the trigger into my past, if he was the only one who truly understood, every moment, how that past affected me?