Unspoken || Sirius Black

28.

"Kenneth, we need to talk." I said crossing my arms at him.

His eyes widened and he looked for an escape route. Not going to happen, I stood firmly and made sure that he knew that I was not going anywhere. His eyes - once, my favourite shade of blue darted around the almost empty hallway and he finally nodded, giving up and giving in. Good. I glanced at his face where a blue bruise sat on his jaw.

"Fine, but not here." he said and ushered towards an empty potions room.

He sighed and turned to me, "I knew you'd come eventually. First, I know you're dying to know why I didn't erase your memories." he said, as if reading my mind.

I raised my eyebrows at him, but nodded. "Yes, actually. It- you nothing makes sense! You say you hate me and you make everyone hate me especially my friends and then all of a sudden you're sorry? That doesn't make any sense and you better answer me because it's literally taking everything in me right now not to murder you." I said, jabbing him in the chest with my finger.

He ran a hand through his golden hair, "Just, wait. I- it wasn't only me okay and it wasn't my idea. He made it seem like he wasn't going to do anything major and then he gave me this - I don't know some weird potion that Crabbe gave me and I don't know how to explain it but I wasn't me, it was insane. Like some weird dark magic then I was hallucinating and it - the potion made me feel everything. But not normally, like intensely. Anger turned into rage, dislike turned into hate."

As if life couldn't have gotten any more confusing and overwhelming.

"I- I need to sit down," I muttered to myself mostly and sat down on one of the chairs, I shut my eyes for a moment before taking a deep breathe and asking, "Okay, first of all. Who is this person?"

Kenneth stood opposite me, leaning on the wall. "Mulciber. But Avery and Crabbe were there too. Look, I was sitting next to him in Potions and then he started to talk about you - about us and then he said that he was planning to do a harmless prank something on you. So I agreed, I mean. I was still angry at you back then-"

Of course it would be Avery, how could I not have thought about that? He should have been my number one suspect - he hated my guts and he had promised that he would get me back. Why hadn't I taken him seriously? I realized that Kenneth said 'about us' as if we were still together which made my heart pang for a moment.

I cut him off, "So what you're not angry at me now?" I scoffed, "What? You suddenly care about me?"

He exhaled and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Josie - I feel awful. I didn't mean to hurt you - I didn't intend on it, I promise. I know you won't believe me but it's the truth. Look, just let me continue. It'll make sense if I do."

I don't know why but I agreed.

He nodded at me in thanks, "Alright so, we were on the abandoned floor. Mulciber tells me to come to this room and I do, Avery and Crabbe are there too. Crabbe gives me the potion and I thought it was a drink, I mean everyone knows that Slytherins like to party. Anyway, so it was like - I don't know how to explain it. I wanted to hurt everyone, I wanted to kill - it was scary. It was like I transformed into a monster. So, Mulciber brings you in and you wake up hours later because Crabbe gave you a sleeping potion by accident. So, you freak out and I wanted to," he took a deep breathe, "I wanted to hurt you. I wanted you to know how loneliness felt like. I wanted you to suffer."

I gulped, it was scary hearing him say things like that. "Kenneth, what the hell-"

He cut me off, "Wait- let me continue, please. I performed a spell on you, Imperio. I don't know if you've heard of it, it basically allows a user to control another person. Like a puppet. I made you go and ruin the friendship between you and the boys. Slowly, I started to gain conciousness I guess. Mulciber and Avery were having a laugh- Josie, you have no idea how delusion they are. Anyway, you came back crying and I lifted the spell and you ran. I ran after you so I could explain and you slapped me. Mulciber and Avery were going to do something to you- so I told them that I would obliviate you so you could never know what happened. They loved the idea of you suffering in the dark, basically. So I did, I didn't do it right though - so you could know. Then you punched me."