To My Heart

Chapter 9~Selfish

Fanaa's POV.

I was waiting for him to express himself.

I'm finally letting him say what he has to say.

Whether it's a bad or good idea, it doesn't matter.

What matters is that I need to know what happened and I need to face the reality and my problems.

And I feel like everyone deserves a second chance.

At least that's what I think now.

"when you left... I felt like my whole world was falling apart, like this time I really messed up, I wasn't able to comprehend what was going on..you disappeared and I thought for a second that I really lost you for good.." he took a deep breath.

"but the truth that you couldn't see through this is that nothing of what you think happened , I don't remember having any type of contact with her and I simply would never do such a thing but.. I was still holding her and you saw what you saw and it was what it was.."

This can't be.

So I was wrong this whole time.. ?

I... It's my fault?

How can I be so selfish?

" Salma needed help ,she was going through a really tough time alone and I was just trying to be a good friend towards the girl that was just like a little sister to me but she... She played me and I couldn't do anything about it and -"

"stop" I cut him off getting up.

I can't listen to this no more.

I can't believe myself.

He was here all alone trying to make it out without me, he was hurting all alone and I was somewhere else living independently and trying to forget him.

I hate myself. This is all my fault.

All this time I was blinded by one stupid mistake and I was so lost that I didn't even think twice about it.

He doesn't deserve a girl like me.

"where are you going?" he asks getting up as well.

" I need to leave... I.. Ahmed you deserve a better person than me.. For 5 damn years I thought of you so bad and I thought I would never see you again... I selfishly left thinking this was the end of us... Why did I do that? I'm such a bad person... " I was crying and just letting everything out.

"I ruined everything Ahmed and I hate myself for it.." I turned around about to leave but I had to say one last thing.

" I just want you to know that I love you so much... So much that my heart can't take it and I hope you'll find someone who'll be worth it enough for you and who'll love you with all their heart.." and with that being said I ran inside and called a taxi.

In a few minutes it arrived and I left to Naina's place.

It was already 6:30 in the morning and the sun was out but I felt kinda sleepy.

This is it.

He deserves better. He deserves someone who'll stick by his side no matter what.

But it can't be me. I failed to do so.

I just want him to be happy and live a great life.

I was afraid that if I rang the bell she wouldn't open since she probably is still sleeping and Rahman as well.

I really don't want to disturb them.

I finally pressed on the bell and immediately she opened.