just like me || remus lupin

how many people have you told?

Cerise came out of Charms and was finally finished for the day. Flitwick assigned two essays which added to Cerise's stress. Before she left the classroom Flitwick called her over to his desk.

Please don't say anything, please don't say anything.

"Miss Rein, I've already said this to your father and brother, but I never got to say sorry to you. So, I'm sorry. You don't have to push yourself in this class," Flitwick began, he loosened his tie out of awkwardness. The entire classroom was thankfully already empty so she put on another fake smile and thanked her professor. She attempted to leave but was stopped again.

"Before your day ends, Dumbledore would like to see you in his office. His favorite candies are sherbet lemons." Cerise gulped and she nodded. She was finally able to leave the classroom but instead of crashing in her dorm room like she wanted to, she discreetly made her way towards the headmaster's office. She arrived at the large bird gargoyle before looking around to make sure no one was near. She took a deep breath in before saying the password.

"Sherbet Lemon."

As she said those words, the bird began to fly up revealing a circling staircase. She walked up the stairs and into his office.

"Ah, Ms. Rein. I'm glad Professor Flitwick was able to recall my message to you. I've been waiting for your arrival. Please, please come sit," he motioned his hand towards a seat in front of his desk and she stumbled towards it. Dumbledore offered her a sherbet but she shook her head. He shrugged before sticking one into his mouth.

"My condolences, Miss Rein. I knew your mother very well when she was still a student at Hogwarts. Odessa grew up to be a successful woman. She had a lot of heart and love for everyone around her." Cerise choked on a few small tears while slightly laughing.

"Wow, you're that old?" She started but immediately slapped her mouth. "I-I'm so sorry I-." Dumbledore lightly chuckled letting her relax in her chair.

"Thank you for your kind words about my mum. Truly, I've gotten tired of people saying the same thing over and over again. The majority of them probably don't even mean what they say. And I can't even tell them to shut up because then I'd seem like an arse—, sorry!" Cerise slapped her forehead. Dumbledore once again chuckled.

"You've been taking it very well. Maybe all too well. I overheard your friends don't know?" Dumbledore questioned. She nodded. "Do you think that's the right choice?"

"I don't want them to worry. Rosie Rickison and Flynn Reynolds know, if that does anything. The rest of them can probably tell somethings up but I would hate any confrontation. And, I haven't known them long enough to let them care about me like that. I don't want their pity. Once people find out they always expect me to just drop my entire life and cry 24/7 but that's not me. It's like they want me to cry so they could be some sort of hero and comfort me. I'm just-," She took a deep breath pausing her long ramble, "I'm just angry all the time. I'm angry at my mum, at myself, and at the world. I don't want my friends to see that side of me. I don't want them to treat me differently. I know they will. Rosie already does. I mean- I know she's just trying to be a friend, and I appreciate that but I can feel her pity whenever she's around me and I just want her to treat me normally. Not just some little girl who's lost her mum. Flynn's the only one who's treated me the same. I think it's cause he lost his sister at a young age but- I don't know. I've only known him for a short time so I don't think I want his empathy either. Juno's a wreck. My dad's a wreck. I'm all my family has left for some maternal figure and if I break-," A tear fell down her face which she quickly wiped away. She stayed silent, her breath staggered.

"If I break everything will fall apart. And I-I can't let that happen and if that means toughening up then I will." She looked up to Dumbledore and the sympathy in his eyes were immense. Her face had no emotion. If she were feeling something at that moment she did a hell of a good job hiding it. Her fists stayed in a tight position as she lifted her sleeves down slightly. If anyone were to walk in, you would assume she were self-harming, but Dumbledore knew who they were from. He reached over his desk and brought her sleeves down.