I Will Never Be Yours

Epilogue

5 years later...
California, USA...

*Aayan, writing his thoughts in his Diary*

Dear Diary,
Today is 507th Day of my record keeping exercise, and I must say out of all those stupid therapies I took all my adult life, this one actually worked

Dr. Shankland was right, venting out feelings somewhere does wonders to your mental health.

So In these 5 years I haven't been violently angry, no lashing out or losing control, also no alter ego issues so,
Hey! Finally I am a Sane Man or I will be One Day, Hopefully

I know I must record my daily feelings here, but today I am feeling a bit nostalgic, so I'll go on summarising my last five years here, so brace yourself for a longest entry ever !

Here it goes...

After my parent's separation almost 30 years ago, I lived the most fucked up 25 years of my life where I was impulsive, violent, moody and a brat and anyone who got close to me was hurt, and by Anyone I mean Ananya, the innocent girl, who didn't want anything in return, but my love...

After hurting her in every possible manner, I came here, in this very house in the state of California, I tried to end my life but being a coward, I did not take that drastic step, and decided to change for her.

So I got a hold of myself and got back to India seeking forgiveness from my wife, and to my luck she did forgive me and we decided to live our happily ever after, after going through hell, like literal hell !

Honestly I've been married to this amazing woman for almost 9 years and still wonder everyday how did I get a woman like her ?

After Ananya forgiving me, we had the most amazing 2 years, post separation! Where everything was dreamy, work was great, sex was incredible, dates were amazing, family outings were good etc.

Me, My beautiful wife, Dad, Sameer, his wife Disha, their daughters Pari & Paakhi, and Amayraa, we lived happily, like a normal family, a family which I never had as a child, but now I do...

In this meantime Ved - Deepika had their son Dev, and Vansh - Khushi had another son Krish, Saanjh (Sash's* older daughter) got engaged, and Rudra (Adi's* older son) got married, while Viraj (Sash's son)- Sayesha (Adi's Daughter) completed their education

[A/N - *Sash and Adi are IWAY's characters and Arjun's younger brothers meaning Ananya's uncles]

But as the 'Honeymoon phase' ended real life happened, you see Ananya who just hit her 30s wanted to be a mom now, and after Paakhi's birth she desperately wanted to have a child, who was her own, don't get her wrong, she loves Amayraa more than anyone, even me, but I think every women's emotions at some point in their lives hit a rock bottom, where they have this empty feeling and want to fill that void with motherhood

It's not like I didn't want a kid of my own, but Ananya's medical condition was complicated, it was difficult for her to conceive, and according to doctors it'll be a 'miracle' if she ever gets pregnant, and well that miracle didn't happen anytime soon...

Ananya was in distraught, although I was totally okay with having Amayraa as my only child, but apparently, it wasn't enough for Ananya, and our fights begin thereafter which were serious enough to affect our marriage..

My best friend Ved, came to our rescue and suggested to go for Surrogacy, hence after 2 months of endless discussions, arguments and sometimes fights we finally decided to go for it, but since there are legal technicalities for surrogacy law in our country, we couldn't get any woman to be our surrogate