Back to you ღ t.s.h

Chapter 13

"Liam." I whispered as I pulled away. His lips were brushing against mine, his hot breath falling onto my lips. The kiss was short, i sensed passion from his side but I, on the other hand felt nothing.
The kiss didn't make the butterflies in my stomach flutter about, the kiss didn't make me feel safe or warm, there was no excitement, no passion, no love.
"What's wrong?" He whispered back still close to my lips as if we were going to kiss again.
"I don't." Was all that came out of my mouth, i couldn't complete my sentence but those two words were enough to let him know.

"I understand, sorry." He said pulling his head further away and running his hands through his hair. "Good night Roseki." His voice was a bit disappointed but I respected him for not forcing me into it.
And with that he laid back down on the bed, flattening out his pillow and turning the other way. Liam turned off his lamp and pulled the covers over him.

I gave out a low sigh and got off the bed to close the door fully. I hope no one saw that kiss, it was a whole new mistake.
I walked back to the bed and turned off the lamp as well, ready to sleep. I climbed under the covers, my cheek buried into the soft pillow.
My eyes felt a sudden tiring from the surrounding comfort, but I felt the need to cry. A painful lump began to form inside my throat, water began to pool under my eyes. I closed my eyes letting the tears easily flow down to the white pillow.

What keeps happening to me? First I fall in love with a guy who I've been in love with for 12 years, I kiss him, I almost sleep with him, and just a day later he claims to date another girl. But why do I still love him? Why does my heart make me feel like there's still some sort of chance I could be with him? But I know, he didn't, he doesn't and might not love me at all. If he did, he would've told me, he would've held my hand and told me in that damned field,
'Y/n I love you.'

But he didn't.

Then I end up kissing my best friend. The one I've spent my whole life playing with, sharing all the events of my life with and making great memories. I keep messing up whatever I have with one of the most important people in my life.

But my thoughts about this mistaken kiss weren't as vivid as my thoughts about the boy who was probably awake, sleeping in the next door room, two or three bottles of beer spread on his bed. That day when he said that I was different, that day when he sat in front of me on the beach with the glimmering sand, that day when he sang a song to me, finally giving me the kiss I had been waiting for for years, I thought that he was finally mine. But he wasn't. It seemed to me that all of that, was nothing, nothing to him, and now nothing to me.

I still loved him.

I still wanted him.

But I couldn't have him.

↳ Tom's PoV

That's right we don't. Her words rang in my ears, her voice full of disappointment and hatred. So much hatred that whatever we had had together, was now nothing to her, nothing to her that she went off and kissed her 'Best Friend.'
I knew I had messed up, I knew that whatever I did was wrong, I should've let her know that I loved her, I should've told her that day in the shed before kissing her, I should've.

But instead I made matters worse, I brought another girl out of jealously from the man she had. I let my rage take over my actions and made terrible mistakes. But even if I told her, it's not like she loves me back.

If she did, if she so terribly did, she would've told me that day on the dock, when I couldn't. I loved her, I love her and there's no telling how long this love might last. But now I know that I can't have her. She's some one else's, and that someone isn't me.
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↳ Y/n's PoV
"Ah I'm gonna miss you so much!" Liam said hugging me tightly nearly lifting me off the ground. I chuckled lightly as he put me down and gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek.