Metaphors from Mars (Poetry)

Writting Random Shit Until I'm Normal Again

08/11/21~09/11/21~/09/30/21
~11:35pm & 8:42pm

I don't think I should post this. But I did so...

Five hundred and sixty-two words
I feel like you ignored
Four times you were mad at me
For keeping my feelings stored
Three times I was gaslit
So you'd appease you mother for
Us to break up two times
Once with me crying on the floor

I wrote this a month ago
And I still feel the same
I feel ashamed
That I've let this get to this point
I swore on my name
That this would never happen again
And yet it did
I feel so stupid
And conflicted
I don't know what to do
I'm lost when it come to you
What do I want out of this?
What will I get out out of this?
Why did you pull me into this?
I don't want to deal with this shit
I'm stress enough as it is
My wicked thoughts have been creeping in
I'm questioning myself again
My better judgement and patience
Is wearing thin
I mean where do I even begin
I can't even look at you
Until I've had all my questions
Answered with precision
So I can gauge your intentions
To quail that little paranoia I mentioned
Talking to you makes me feel like I'm trapped
In another dimension
Lost with no communication
'Cause you can't get a signal out here
Being ignored is my worst fear
I'd cry but I can't find not a tear
Away from you I tried to steer
But my car been stuck
in the same FUCKING GEAR
I'm sorry I shouldn't yell
But I feel like I allowed myself to fail
And I fell
Right into the trap
I set that shit for myself
When I told you how I felt...

I miss you, I miss you not. I love you, I love you not. Something I wanna kill myself. Maybe this time, maybe not.

Do it
Just do it
You fucking pussy

What are We?

Are we still friends?
Can we even be friends?
Do I want kiss you?
Or bury you in the dirt?
Do I wanna love you?
Or do I just like to feel my heart hurt?

I need a new hobby...
Bitch, you need friends.