King Von Imagines

Im Not Her

Word Count- 625
Warnings- None
Part 2? Please give me your feedback!

You knew it was too beautiful for it to last forever, but you wanted to believe that maybe he loved you enough to choose you. How wrong you were. Since the first day of your relationship, you knew you will never be her. You were aware of that, but you were constantly lying to yourself. Every single time he said he loves you, you knew he was not being honest. Did he care about you at all? He was not a bad person, so you knew that even if he didn't love you, he did care about you and that made the whole thing much harder. It would have been better if he didn't care, he should have just left you, abandon you like an unwanted dog, and yet here he was sitting in front of you, his head hung low between his arms which he had rested on his knees. The only thing that could have been heard between the two of you was silence, there weren't any screams, shouts, plates breaking, and throwing things at each other. Complete silence, the one that made an unpleasant shudder run down your spine and tears appear in your eyes.
The worst thing about this whole situation was the fact that you couldn't even be mad at him for that, because deep down inside you knew that it was your fault, you allowed yourself to get yourself stuck in this situation. You allowed yourself to get hurt like that. Because you were selfish. You wanted to have him no matter what price you needed to pay for it. Was he even worth it? This question was the one you could not find the answer to.
You could never blame him for this situation, but blaming her was a completely different story. You hated her with your whole heart. Did you have a right to? Maybe not, but you still did. Because she was the one that broke his heart, the one that left him, you were the one that picked up all of the broken pieces she left behind and glued them back together, yet he had chosen her over you.
You could feel hot tears running down your face in the streams, you didn't want to cry in front of him, you didn't want to let him know how much it had hurt you. But you had failed painfully, loud sobs escaping your mouth.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" he was the one to talk out of you two. You knew that he meant it, he was sorry towards you. He was sorry for using you to forget about her, but he was not sorry about breaking your heart the first chance he got to get her back. Minsik loved you, he did but he never loved you the way he loved her. He could never love you as much as her because you were you and not her. You were just not enough.

"It's okay Dayvon. It's okay" you sniffled, your voice coming out as a shaky breath. It was not okay, how could it be?
But you loved him, and you wanted for him to be happy. He was not happy with you.
His eyes were fixated on you, a sad look present on his face, his eyes glistening with tears, he was not heartless, after all, you two have been together for the past two years, you once were important to him in some ways.

" I'm just not her, and I never will be" you smiled sadly at him, a smile he had returned while he watched your form disappear behind the door to his apartment and at that moment his heart ached just as much as your own did.