Chapter 15 - Overwhelmed with Guilt

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They sat outside at an outdoor cafe eating lunch and it was a beautiful day. It was in the mid 70's with a very slight breeze and the sun was shining. Pigeons were flying around the really large water fountain in the square next to the cafe and tourists were walking around snapping pictures.

"I haven't eaten here before. This is nice. I didn't even realize how close it was to my building," she said, enjoying the view.

"Where do you usually eat lunch?" he asked, taking a bite of his sub sandwich.

"I usually end up just eating in my office most days," she said, turning away from the view and looking back at him.

"Well maybe we can change that," he said, and she looked across the table, studying his handsome face to see if there was any hint that he was being sarcastic or joking. She didn't find any.

Here in the sunlight his gorgeous features were even more noticeable. He was so handsome, just looking at his face too long could make her insides melt.

"What?" he asked. "What are you thinking Emma?"

She hesitated, looking down at her lap for a second before looking back up at him, squinting her eyes against the sun. "Honestly? I'm still trying to decide if I can trust you. I've been burned by you so many times in the past that it's hard to fully let my guard down and let you in," she said,  exhaling deeply. 

He looked down and said, "Well I can hardly blame you. I was a total ass back then." He thought for a minute and then asked, "Do you remember that time I got up in front of the entire cafeteria and announced that I would never date you even if you were the last woman on earth?" 

She laughed. "Uhh yeah. How could I forget?"

 Her smile faded as another painful memory came to mind.

"Do you remember the time you called my house and told my Dad you were from Planned Parenthood and that my pregnancy test results had come back positive?"

He cringed like he was in pain, as if that memory made him feel really guilty. "Yeah. I remember," he said, looking over at her and hesitating, like he didn't want to know the answer to what he asked next. "What did he say?"

She took a deep breath in and exhaled, popping a fry in her mouth.

"You don't want to know," she said, looking away in deep thought.

"Yes I do. Will you please tell me?" he asked.

She stared past him at the fountain, zoning out as she replayed the painful memory in her head.

She bit her lip to hold back the tears that wanted to fall from her stinging eyes and said, "He called me a no-good, worthless slut and told me to get an abortion or he never wanted to see me again."

That memory had been hidden away for a long time and just saying it out loud made it feel like it just happened yesterday. She felt a tear run down her cheek as she sniffled. 

She hung her head and said, "The worst part was, my older brother was home from college and he was standing right there and heard the whole conversation. I looked over to him to defend me and all he said was, 'Who in the hell would have sex with you?' and then he laughed and walked away. That's when I knew I needed to get the hell out of that house and never go back. I hated them both so much."

She sniffled as another tear ran down her cheek. She had never told anyone about that conversation, except for Stella. She raised her watery eyes and looked over at him and he was studying her face and thinking.

He got up and pulled his chair over next to hers and looked her right in the eyes.

"I'm sorry Emma. You went through that because of me and I can't even tell you how guilty that makes me feel. I thought it was just a harmless prank. I was a dumb kid and I wasn't thinking," he said, reaching out and wiping a tear away from her cheek and looking into her eyes. 

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