A Coalition Story

The World's Biggest, Stupidest Idiot

She was the world's biggest, stupidest idiot. Ace, her Ace, was in love with her. He loved her completely and utterly, and she had taken advantage of that.
As always, Ravyn had managed to be a selfish brat at the worst of times. No wonder her life had turned out the way it had.
Ravyn wasn't paying much attention to where she was going, too distraught to focus, too careless to think, but she wasn't surprised when she found herself knocking on Cal's door. He wouldn't be much comfort, but he would let her cry and rant and vent. Cal would let her wallow and be miserable, and then he'd offer some sort of solution. It was exactly what she needed at the moment.
There was no initial response after her knock, so Ravyn walked in.
"Hey, Ravyn," Cal greeted, not looking up from whatever movie they were watching. He was surprised she hadn't made a comment about his and Torin's cuddling, but he wasn't going to bring it up if she didn't.
Ravyn didn't reply, collapsing into Cal's desk chair as she wiped tears from her eyes. This, it seemed, captured both men's attention. Ravyn wasn't a crier. Ever. Cal had seen her cry maybe three times in the seventeen years he had known her. Torin had seen her cry maybe once. Maybe. Now she was trying not to bawl.
Somebody was about to get murdered.
"What did Lev do?" Cal asked slowly, sitting up so he could get a better view of his cousin. She shook her head with a wry laugh.
"This time? Nothing, nothing important anyways. No, this was all me." The two men shared a worried look. Neither of them had seen Ravyn make herself cry before. She'd upset herself by being an idiot, but that usually led to day drinking and then moving on. Not coming to Cal's room and collapsing tearfully into his chair.
"Ray, what happened?" Torin asked, his voice softer than usual.
"I'm officially the world's biggest idiot," Ravyn muttered. She let the tears fall freely now, giving up on trying to hold them back or wipe them away.
"Ravyn, what did you do?" Cal asked, his voice far harsher than his boyfriend's.
"I was so rude. So beyond cruel," she explained, still not giving details. The two men shared another worried look, in part because Ravyn still hadn't commented on their closeness, and also because she was owning up to being so horrible. She must have really messed up for her to own it.
"Ace is in love with me," she spoke shakily after a few unsuccessful moments of calming herself.
"So he finally told you, what's that have to do with this?" Cal countered. Torin glared at his boyfriend. That was not how things needed to be handled. Luckily, it seemed Ravyn didn't care.
"He's in love with me, and I tried to use that as a way of saving myself. I completely ignored his feelings. I told him we should get married, that it was perfect, that I would finally be free from Lev," she sobbed in reply. Torin untangled himself from Cal and walked over, pulling Ravyn up and into a bear hug. But this only brought more tears. Her voice and body shook as she failed to explain the situation further.
"It'll be okay. He's gonna get over it. It's Atticus and you, you two are too close to not figure this out." But Ravyn shook her head.
"No, this was my last chance with him. I already almost ruined things with the whole Lev and Alice drama before everything fell apart. I've almost ruined things a thousand times before that. This was my last chance, and I just lost him completely," she breathed out shakily. She didn't have Ace anymore. She didn't have her best friend. How on Earth was she going to survive, going to get out of this mess, if she didn't have Ace? Not even to marry, just as her best friend, as her Ace.
Ravyn was pretty sure she had just killed any chance she had of survival.
This thought broke Ravyn further as she sobbed into Torin's shoulder, body shaking violently. Neither of them had seen Ravyn like this before, and Cal had seen her at her absolute worst, after her mom died and she got kicked out at age ten for accusing her dad of murder. Ravyn had been angry with other people a million times before, and she'd been angry with herself before, too, but never like this. She'd never started falling apart because of something she (or anyone else) had done.
Cal didn't say anything, but he didn't have to for Torin to understand his thoughts. He didn't think Ravyn would be able to piece herself together after this, not if this was her reaction.
"C'mon, Ray. Let's watch a movie. You can crash here tonight so you don't have to see your roommates, and we can get you ice cream and chocolate and stuff." Cal stood, walking over to his cousin and pulling her into a very, very rare hug. Somehow, this and his words managed to calm her. Maybe Cal didn't have some magic solution, but at least she knew she'd never screw things up with him for forever. Same with Torin. With those two, she would always, always be safe.
She'd thought that was what she had with Ace, but that was before Ravyn had screwed everything up because of a crush. And look where that had gotten them all.
Yeah, Ravyn had lost the most important person in her life, someone who, as she sat there with Cal and Torin, had managed to beat out her closest friends in rank of importance. Ravyn was never going to have Ace again, and she wasn't sure how she was going to survive.