usually crying is hard
squeezing eyes shut
red, raw, painful.
but today the tears flow
as if mother nature herself planted them
directly into the red corners of my eyes.
the ocean of blue so full of pain
it overflowed.
i wish i would feel adequate
enough
worthy
not of love, friends
no of life.
i sit
wishing i held myself highly enough
to let the world enjoy me
my presence
laugh
smile
contributions
ideas.
i hope one day
not to far away
i do.
not because of another,
my children,
a job,
certain amount of money.
i hope to be comfortable
with living.
seems simple,
for surviving a day
to be second nature
not a carefully navigated task.
anxiety makes your head hollow
i wonder if the tears that flowed
came from my brain.
perhaps that is why they flowed faster.
gravity.
or maybe
mother nature saw today
that i needed help
a release of some kind,
she came to help me.
poor woman
having to worry about me.
why must i always feel so terrible.
make others worry
concerned
make myself such a burden.
what did i do
to deserve this existence.
this sad,
sorry life
full of ugly.
no wonder death is romanticized.
it seems so perfect,
everything would just stop.
by o.p.
everyone just needs a break sometimes.
