I'm such a shitty person
I hate myself
But I hate who I am, who I want to be and who I'm becoming
I'll never be normal enough to be normal
I'll never be weird enough to be weird
I'll never be hot enough to be excused
Instead I'm this angry sad emotional person
Overprotective and annoyingly over prepared
Spacey, bad at listening and zoned out
Inattentive
Hyperactive
I'm trying so hard to fit in but I never will.
No inspirational quotes will ever help or sum up how unworthy I feel
So don't tell me being "weird is cool", I'm "cool in my own way", being "unique is a gift"
It's never going to fix this
It's never going to dull the shame and despair I feel when someone says something with the wrong tone let alone remotely unkind about me
I'm so aware of everything
Myself, others, emotions, facial expressions, social ques, art, meaning, God
It's so much
Looking out for any twitch
Slight change, I take everything so sensitively
I can tell exactly how you feel
I know
I feel so much shame 24/7
I'm just ashamed of existing sometimes
I'm so ashamed of every action,
People tell me they love me and I'm ashamed of being annoying and somehow subconsciously manipulating them into saying that
I hate that people can tell how fake I am
If only they saw like me
Felt like me
They'd see everyone's mask too
By op
