crush imagines (he/him crush)

proposal #1

Sweet Y/N, 

I spent a total of three hours, 32 minutes, and 4 seconds on the phone with my parents today, debating whether to write this out or say it out loud. I only hung up after you walked in, wearing an apron and my sweatshirt, and brought me a mug of tea. You smelled like mint and looked like my wildest dream and I knew right then that what I needed to say couldn't be summed up while on one knee. 

I didn't notice you for a while, and you didn't notice me. We had some mutual friends and shared a glance or two (and maybe a laugh), but you seemed too smart and witty to take interest in me, and stupidly, I was distracted by other girls.

Until that one night in Jo's basement, when we all sat in a circle and played stupid mind games with each other, and for whatever reason, you said that I was the most attractive person in the room. You didn't blush or cower or take it back. All of a sudden my head was filled with thoughts of loving you and kissing you and putting a ring on the finger you broke while ice skating, and I haven't thought about other girls since. 

I only fell harder for you when you kissed me with salty lips as we stood knee deep in the Atlantic. It wasn't our first kiss, nor our last, but I pulled a piece of seaweed from you hair and felt like a movie character. You make me feel like a movie character, Y/N. 

When you left in a rage after that fight in December, I woke up the next morning to pancakes. You said you were sorry and handed me the syrup. We sat at my kitchen table and talked it through until 5 PM. That night, you fell asleep on my left arm and even as the tingling became unbearable, I refused to move a muscle and disturb your blissful slumber.

You came to Jake's funeral and wore the most elegant black dress I've ever seen. We sat in the second row with all of his friends, and you caressed my hand with your thumb. You pressed my head to your shoulder when the tears began and muttered to me until I composed myself. I'll never forget how guilty I felt for getting tear stains on the velvet. I apologized in the car and you told me to shut up, respectfully. We ordered wings to my apartment and watched telenovelas until 1 AM and I swore to God and Jake and my Mom that I'd marry you as soon as I got the confidence. 

Now I have the confidence, Y/N, and I'm asking you to spend the rest of my living days with me— traveling, smiling, crying, laughing, driving, cooking, working, yelling, fucking— I want to do it all with you, and only you. I still think you're smart, and beautiful, and so witty it hurts. I've never wanted anything this badly. I've never wanted anything the way I want you. 

I wish I could see you face right now, but I can't. I'm in the kitchen, actually, kneeling in front of the island, where you left your open can of seltzer. You're probably running to the kitchen now, ecstatic or angry or remorseful, and all I can say is that I can't wait until you get here. 

Y/N, here's to my love, forever and always.

C/N