crush imagines (he/him crush)

pre-dinner

C/N FaceTimed me mere minutes after I got home for the day. My hair was still settling around your face after being up all day, and my face looked liked I'd stood with my head over a McDonald's fryer for a minute straight. 

Still, he smiled when he saw me. 

"Y/N," he said, eyes bright with excitement. "Guess where I am?"

I took a good, hard look at his background as I made my way to the bathroom. It looked like a little restaurant of some sort, judging by the illuminated drink fridges behind him.

"I don't know," I replied, reaching for the makeup remover. "Soul Shack?" 

He shook his head. "Tonight didn't feel like a soul food night." 

"Every night is a soul food night, darling," I corrected. 

"Okay, well, it's not soul food." In the background, a bell rang, and he walked up to the counter. 

Someone said something about "order 88", and a bag rustled. I smiled. I loved when he included me in his little excursions, however far away. 

Then, he was walking. I saw tile, the legs of some small tables. A broom clearing up bits of debris. Finally, the parking lot, the night sky (muddled by light, yet stunning nonetheless).

C/N unlocked his car and opened the front door. "Food's going in your seat," he announced. "You guys are on equal footing. Better watch out." 

He set his phone on the dashboard and grinned. "I got us tacos, love. From Delicias."

My jaw dropped. "C/N, you went all the way out there?" 

He smiled proudly. "It's Friday. Time to decompress. Anyway, I got us carnitas, hongos, birria, and..." He drummed on one of the takeout boxes. "Lengua." 

"C/N..." I moaned. "You're the best boyfriend ever. In the universe, probably. Unless aliens are super fucking hot." 

"Watch it," he warned. "The lengua can disappear as quickly as it appeared."

I mimed zipping my mouth up. "Noted." 

C/N turned the key and started the car. "I'll be home as soon as possible." 

I tossed a foundation-covered cotton pad into the trashcan. "Godspeed, C/N."

He saluted. 

"Oh, and don't die. Please." 

He kissed the camera. "Not on my watch. See you soon." 

Then, I was alone again. 

I put in my AirPods and paced about, doing menial household tasks, anxious for C/N's (and the tacos') arrival. Towards the end of my solitude, I found myself drawn towards the mirror. The week had drained me. I looked awful. Bodiless, brittle hair disguised breakouts along my hairline. The over-salted salad I'd choked down for lunch had left me bloated, and my chest looked uneven, one side significantly larger than the other. I checked my period tracker. Nope, not menstruating. Just ugly. 

Apparently, my music was louder than it should've been while I was home alone. Because when C/N knocked on the bathroom door, I nearly jumped out of my skin. 

I opened the door just to be enveloped in a bear hug. "You scared me, gorgeous. You didn't meet me at the door today." He kissed the top of my head. "Your hair smells good." 

I snorted. "Give me a break." 

"No, really." He released me and looked me in the eyes. "You okay?" 

No. "

Yep. Just tired."

"You seem tense, Y/N." He rubbed my shoulder, looked at me with worry written all over his expression. I was slammed with a sudden wave of guilt. How could someone like him be with someone like me? Someone who just needed, all of the time. 

How long could he go on giving? 

Against my will, I burst out into tears. C/N stared for a moment, unsure of how to handle himself—I usually bottled up my insecurities, for both of our sakes. 

But then, he jumped into action, stepping back into a hug. This one was deeper—it felt as if he were trying to make us one, to take some of the pressure off. He supported the back of my head with one hand, my lower back with the other, all while whispering "get it all out", and "take your time", and "your safe". All of this only made me cry harder, because god, I loved him. I loved him so much. And I didn't know what I'd do without him. 

When I finally stopped taking gulping attempts to breathe normally, C/N led me over to the edge of the bed and motioned for me to sit in his lap, between his legs. I obliged, because his lap was safe and warm. 

Across from us, a full length mirror was secured on the wall. I stared at our reflections, at his stable expression resting next to my tear-streaked face. 

"I don't deserve you," I admitted. "You're..." What did you call someone like that? Someone so stunning sometimes you were just paralyzed with awe when they did something totally mundane? "Perfect."

C/N laughed. "You're delusional, do you know that?" He took one look at my face and rescinded his statement. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't use delusional during feelings talk. My bad."

He wrapped an arm around my waist. "I love when you're bloated," he murmured. 

"Give me a break."

"It means you ate well. And you ate flavorful food, thank goodness for that. AND—this is most important—I get to use your perfect stomach as a pillow." 

I flushed as he slid a hand under my shirt to caress my stomach. 

Then, I took one look at myself and the bliss disintegrated. "Look at my face, C/N."

He went as far as to take out his glasses. "Oh my goodness!" he shrieked. "You're hideous! I hadn't put on my glasses." 

He smiled down at me. I rolled my eyes. 

"What do I have to do to convince you you're beautiful? Commission a greek statue? Or, better yet, a temple? Because I'll do it. Just give me a few years to save up." 

I frowned at myself. Magically, I looked better. Just slightly, but better.

"Need I go on?" He asked. "Because I'll do that too." 

He placed a kiss to my shoulder. "Look, we can continue this in the shower. I'll wash your hair, and we can do skincare. Sound good?" 

I squirmed as he tapped my navel. Two quick taps, an assurance. Everything would be alright.

"But before shower," he quipped, standing up, taking me with him. "Tacos. No one wants soggy lengua." 

I smiled and turned to face him. 

"C/N." 

"Y/N?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." 

"I know." I motioned to pull my hair up, but C/N lowered my wrist. 

"Let me," he said. "You always miss a few strands."