Each And Every Star Out There » felix

Chapter 18: Futile Attempts

"Before you became the moon, you were the brightest star of my galaxy."

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Tears had long been wiped off, and frowns long forgotten, for Chaeri wasn't someone to give up so easily.

She had given a lot of thought to Felix - of course, the way she felt about him, too - and had realised how she wanted to be someone more than just a mute girl, forlorn amidst the sea of millions of others.

She wanted to be more. To Felix, too.

She knew he would understand her; she was so sure of it. It felt as if the fact that he's her refuge was set in stone by now. She wanted to embrace that refuge, and make it hers.

Because for her, the only way to find herself and her efforts worthwhile was to make him happy.

So, with tired eyes but a motivated mind, she prepared ramen for them both, knowing that Jeongin wasn't coming back for dinner. As she prepared the dish, she pictured how he would savor the taste of the food she put some effort in. She genuinely wasn't someone who cooked well, but she was trying. Trying hard, in fact.

Daydreaming about his adorable smile and sparkly eyes, she managed to break into a smile despite the sadness that filled her heart. Lee Felix really had her under a spell, she felt.

Finally finishing the dish, she packed it into a large bowl and kept it aside. Then, she walked towards the mirror to see her tear-stained face, and immediately washing her face with cold water (and shivering afterwards), she applied some lip balm and combed her hair.

Chaeri wanted to look good for him.

She wasn't exactly satisfied with the end result, thanks to the lingering sadness in her aura, but she slipped her feet into her slippers and held the dish carefully in her hands.

She opened the door of her dorm, and before she could fully walk out, she heard a familiar feminine voice, "Ay, Felix!"

Chaeri paused, and watched, hidden behind her door, how the events unfolded. At the moment, Samyraa was standing before Felix's dorm's door, and the boy had just walked out of his room.

"Oh, hi!" Felix spoke, "It's dark outside, what are you doing here right now?"

"Uh, I j-just wanted to," Samyraa stuttered, "I haven't finished the chemistry assignment yet. Can I, like, copy yours...? Only if it's okay with you!"

Chaeri listened in despair as the conversation continued.

Felix said, "Sure, sure!"

The door then closed, and Chaeri peeked out of her hiding space to look at Samyraa waiting outside his door, and as his door opened again, Felix came out with a notebook, and spoke, "Hey, it's really unsafe for you to return at this time of the night. You, uh, wanna stay?"

"M-Me?" Samyraa stood agape, and as Chaeri watched, her heart hurt.

"Yeah! I mean, you cane move out early in the morning before people wake up to, you know, avoid the rumors?"

"Um, alright."

With that, the two walked into Felix's dormitory, and Chaeri stood at her own door, involuntary tears flowing down her face.

So she had probably lost Felix, too, right?

Her hands shook, and she swung the door of her dorm shut, and slammed the bowl on the counter beside the door.

She was just overreacting, wasn't she? Felix had a choice to choose whom he wants to be friends with, and with whom he wanted to be more than that. It couldn't always be in her favor, of course.

But why did it hurt so much?

Chaeri realized how possessive she was feeling about Felix. She couldn't really help it; he was her only refuge. And losing an only refuge to a reason as bad as not being able to do a basic task felt horrible.

She so wanted to be Samyraa - because she could speak, and because Felix probably liked her.

What was even this futile attempt to cook for him to make him like her? What was she even thinking?

He clearly liked Samyraa more than her.

And Felix clearly wasn't hers.

(a/n: I'm sorry for making you go through this lmao

But it gets better, dw!!

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Thanks for reading! I love you!)