Complete Us 2 - The new reality. A BTS ot7 +1 soulmate story.

14

*After moving to Korea I thought I was done doubting my body. For longer than ever since I found out about my seven soulmates I feel like I've finally felt like I belong where I am. That everything is right and that my head is where it is supposed to be. But the doubts are back, it's like they're having a party inside my head.

I hugged Yoongi yesterday while we were cooking and the moment my skin touched his I started imagining what it would feel like to have all of his skin pressed up against mine. I started looking for excuses inside my head to actually undress him where he stood just to be closer to him. A couple days ago I would probably have acted on my urges to seductively pull his shirt far enough down from his neck, to where I could leave chaste kisses on the skin I revealed to try and get something going.

But since Sejin came by, the only thing running through my mind is "is this me, or is it the triggering?" And "do they actually want me or will they just sleep with me to get it over with?"

Taehyung told me this morning that I needed to be less in my head, I think he's worried about me. I don't like worrying him, but I also can't be less in my head. Where else would I be? In Hoseok's?

I called Martin last night to talk it out with him and god I wish I was a man. No speech about accidentally making babies or uncontrollable urges to keep your soulmates from touching other people. Men have it easy, what's new?

I think Martin and I are going to go out for coffee's with Yuri in a couple of days. Maybe I feel better talking about it with someone who isn't trying to mould their words into something I will find comforting. It sure as hell isn't helping writing it in here anymore. Maybe I should stop journaling? It's not like anything I write here is just mine anymore anyway since I had seven men move into my head.

I'm not complaining over my soulmates. Jungkook, Jimin or Taehyung if you see this, this is not me complaining. I am trying to sort out my thoughts. Please don't misread any of this.

I need sleep. *

Putting down my diary I put it into the drawer of the bedside table and curled up in the big bed. Yoongi's bedroom was still my favourite place to sleep and unofficially I had moved into it permanently. He was a calm sleeper and even though we were rarely sleeping just the two of us, his presence calmed me enough for that not to matter. It might have something to do with how he's been the voice in my head helping me relax every time I've needed it. I didn't really care what it was, all I cared about was that he allowed me to indulge in the calm his presence gave me. Forever my safe space.

The talk surrounding having to remove the soulmate connection when the guys were in public kept being postponed. We knew Sejin's solution would work, and we knew it would have to be done during their next public appearance, yet talking about it made it even more real than it already was. Not a speck of the idea of numbing our connection felt comfortable to any of us so we were elegantly dancing around the topic as well as we could.

Three knocks on the door sounded before the handle was being twisted and I looked up at Jimin as he was entering the bedroom. Dressed down in checkered pyjama bottoms and a cardigan he looked like anyone's wet dream, especially mine. Just the thought of it made me feel nauseous, the idea of not having control over my urges churning in my stomach, making me doubt everything around me.

All this just from seeing my soulmate in his sleep wear.

"You look very cosy" Jimin commented as he came over to the bed. I lifted the duvet to make space for him. His body slid in next to mine and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him beneath his cardigan, the feeling of his skin against mine enough to make fireworks go off behind my eyes and inside my chest.