Reality check

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(Warning…. this chapter is a Little crazy, so I'll just leave a warning here.)
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(Ryker)

I had just finished taking a shower when I got a mind link from forest saying Elias was in heat. I couldn't believe it, so I got dressed in a hurry and made my way to his room without stopping. Opening the door, I saw Elias in bed, moaning from the pain of being in heat. His scent was so strong, attacking me the minute I opened the door.

I didn't waste any more time as I slammed my lips down on his. His lips tasted so sweet, felt so soft and pure against mine. Taking my time, I took his clothes off as well as mine, so we were both naked. No, I wasn't going to prep him. I didn't love him and I couldn't stand being next to him, so why should I? The mate bond as well as his heat were the only things I would blame for the way I was so eager to get a taste of him.

I pulled away from him, staring into eyes I knew belonged to Forest. Elias's eyes are blue, the kind of blue that reminded me of the ocean. But for Forest, his eyes were green. That's how I knew when he was in charge. I felt him trembling against me as I parted his legs, just like the bitch I knew he was.

The heat made him eager too, at least I was finally able to fuck and get rid of these blue balls I've been walking around with thanks to Max. Speaking of Max, he was too caught up with this that he didn't even hear what I was thinking. If he did, he would have taken over, and I wouldn't get to feel the pleasure of fucking Elias.

Lining myself at his entrance, I took my time entering him at first. He winces a little, but didn't stop me. At least he wasn't as fragile as I made him out to be. After getting a good five inches in without prep, I began pumping slowly at first until I was all the way in. I wasn't that big, so I won't be bragging. I'm around eight inches, which was more than enough.

My moans from the pleasure I was getting could be heard throughout the room as I picked up my pace, slamming myself inside his hole that was no longer Virgin. It didn't stop there, I did exactly as I said I would. I fucked him over and over until I felt satisfied enough that he got every last drop of me. Werewolves have the type of stamina that humans would kill for. We can cum as many times as you can count, and we can fuck for hours as long as we want to. That's what I made sure happened to Elias as I ravished his body.

His mouth and his ass got a taste of my cock, one I'm sure he would want again, and I'll gladly give it to him. He didn't stop me or cry from the pain I'm sure he was feeling, he's too proud to do something like that. He's not an omega, so I don't have to worry about getting him pregnant, so I came in him over and over again. When I finally decided to stop, I looked at him and saw that he had a faraway look on his face. His mouth was open as if he were letting out silent screams. What the Fuck?

“Forest are you alright?” I asked but didn't get any reply. It was then I realized what I did, and no words can explain how stupid I was.

I knot him. I fucking knot him, which can be fucking painful for someone like him. What the hell was I thinking? Driven by lust, coming in here and taking him over and over without even realizing the consequences was one of the biggest mistakes on my part.

I couldn't do anything apart from stay there and wait it out, I don't even know how I'm going to make it up to him after this. Why should I even try? He deserved this, didn't he? A part of me couldn't help but feel guilty of what I just did. I can't understand my hatred for him when he was my mate. It's not like it's his fault why I was given a male mate in the first place.

I wasn't even thinking straight most of the time. I mean look at Ryland, he found out his mate is a male but yet, he accepted him without fighting it. Why couldn't I do the same? Why do I have to let my pride ruin everything? I breathed a sigh of relief when it was over, slowly pulling out so that I didn't cause any more damage than I'd already cause.

Tears sprang free from his eyes, my heart clenching at the sight of him breaking down in front of me. It was all my fault, no one else but mine. I should be blamed for all of this hot mess I got myself in. He hated me before, and now I gave him another reason to hate me even more. Sighing, I got up and made my way towards the bathroom. Deciding on getting him in the bath so that he could relax.

I wasn't a bad guy, am I? I'm just confused.

One minute I hated Elias and the next I couldn't help but want to be around him. Maybe I should have given this a try, it wasn't so bad after all. I guess it was safe to say I was in denial, I was a closeted gay who didn't like the idea of anyone finding out.

But my brother couldn't care less, that's the kind of attitude I should have had the moment I found out Elias was my mate. Instead of treating him like crap, I should have been there for him.

Taking care of him the way I knew was right. I could sense that he had been through a lot before I met him, but I was too stubborn to want to get to know him better. I didn't have a heart, I was a monster in the making.

I killed for pleasure, for sports, which was not right. I thrived on fear and power, but eventually it made me look like a coward. After starting the bath, I went back for Elias, who was still trembling and crying on the bed.

I picked him up bridal style and made my way towards the bathroom. Ryland was right, I needed help and I needed it right now or else I'll continue to hurt everyone I'm around. I just hope that once I redeem myself, Elias would be able to forgive me for everything I've done to him. If not, I will let him see that I am willing to change even if I die trying.

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