Upper Ten Thousand// Anthony & Benedict Bridgerton

twenty eight

I wake up still outside. There are clouds overhead. It will rain. I do not care. I need to get away. Anthony still will not tell me he loves me. We have been married for almost two months and he has still not said it. Why did I do this to myself? All I ever wanted was a marriage with love.

I take off on my horse. I do not even truly know where I am going. All I know is that Anthony has followed me. He calls out to me begging me to stop. I don't. I push my horse harder and then the next thing I know everything is black.

I can hear someone speaking. I can finally open my eyes.

"Anthony?" I ask.

"You're awake," Anthony says. I can tell her has been crying. "You are alright. Do you remember?"

"I remember riding in the park. And the fall," I tell him.

"Anthony, I am so sorry," I tell him. "I shouldn't have run off but... I... I was upset. You still cannot say that you love me. Why can you not love me? What have I done?"

"It is not you," Anthony assures.

I feel tears coming to my eyes. "Then what is it?"

"I am fearful of losing you," Anthony confesses. "I am fearful of dying young. Of leaving you without a provider."

"You still fear what happened to your father will happen to you," I state.

"My father was 38 when he died right in front of me," Anthony states. "My mother was not herself for long after his death. She was there physically. But it was hard for her to see her children, to bath, to eat. I could not do that to you."

"But is not what love is?" I ask. "To care so much for someone that you are not the same without them?"

"I have realized that I do love you. I have loved you since you were eighteen. Since your first season when you accidentally tripped Cressida Cowper and she promised to ruin any chance you had at a proposal." Anthony laughs. "And you told her you could handle doing that perfectly fine on your own. I've loved you at every dance, on every walk, every time we've been together, and every time we've been apart. It is you that I want every day by my side. Giving me children. Growing old with. I love you, Mercy."

"I love you too," I tell him.

Anthony smiles as he kisses me.

Anthony goes to tell our family that I am awake. All of the Bridgertons shove in as well as Val.

"I was ready to kill Anthony," Val informs me.

"I had to hold him back," Benedict explains.

I smile. "Thank you both for caring enough."

"We would do anything for you," Val assures me.

Benedict sits with me after the others have left.

"I am an imposter," Benedict tells me.

"I know I have been out for a week but whatever are you talking about?" I question.

Benedict sits down on the end of the bed and sighs. "My acceptance into the Academy was based on a large donation from Anthony."

"How could you possibly know that?" I question.

"The other students were talking about it," Benedict tells me.

"And you believe them?" I ask.

"Should I not?" Benedict questions.

"That does not mean you would not have been accepted on your own," I reason. "Your art is magnificent. And I am not just saying it because I am your best friend." Benedict does not say anything. "I wish to ask you to promise me something."