Percy Jackson, the Seriously Attractive Snake, and the Ex-Winter Soldier

Productivity Is For Those With Death Wishes

Loki -to the humour of the other two- lost some of his confidence after dropping the nickname bombs. Throughout the remainder of the meal, his cheeks had been blushing furiously. It didn't help that Percy and Bucky continued to call Loki "sweetheart" at their every opportunity. That being said, the god was more annoyed at how flustered he was than the nickname itself. He'd never admit it, but the Asgardian found it brilliant how they'd checked it wouldn't misgender him beforehand. Hardly any people in Loki's life knew about his gender, let alone made an effort to respect it. Odin being one of those people.

However, their nice dinner did not last. As Bucky was being pleasantly surprised by Loki and Percy doing the dishes, the people flooded from the stairs and elevator. Some of them were in dark combat clothes and held guns, the rest were the avengers.

Percy took one look at the hostility and the weapons that could be used with those emotions in mind and immediately put himself between the angry people and his friends. It would've been sweet were the situation not so serious.

"Buck," called Steve from behind his shield, "what are you doing? That's Loki,"

"Prince Loki of Asgard," interrupts Percy, "let's not be obstinate enough to ignore proper titles." 

Steve resisted the urge to glare at the demigod, trying to bare in mind that he clearly didn't know what had happened in New York earlier that year. Taking a deep breath and turning so he could address just Bucky, the captain tried again.

"Loki is person I was telling you about. The man who invaded New York. He's dangerous and needs to be returned to his prison cell."

Percy watched with growing anger as the fingers of everyone holding a gun strayed closer to the triggers and as Loki paled significantly. Bucky's face betrayed none of his thoughts however, the soldier made no move to step away from the god or closer to Steve.

The whole room waited in silence for a minute before Tony snapped. Gesticulating emphatically, the engineer said, "that man is a mass murder and you idiots not only let him out but had fucking hotdogs with him! You screwed up, Barnes."

Each word that spilled from Tony like magma was a mistake. Bucky chose his side. His metal toed boots made no sound as he stepped closer to Loki and Percy. "You, all of you, took another living being and saw fit to treat them disgustingly. When we found him, Prince Loki was in a muzzle. A fucking muzzle. We made him dinner because you -the supposed heroes of Earth- had starved him. Now you come bursting in with your semi-automatics and your obnoxious self-righteousness trying to act as if common decency is a crime." Bucky's voice did not raise in volume but with each syllable the Avengers' guilt tripled. Even some of the veteran assassins among the group lowered their weapons slightly. For his last sentence, the enraged ex-H.Y.D.R.A captive stared his childhood friend in the eyes. "You know what three day old hunger feels like; why would inflict that on someone else?" 

Raw pain flashed in Steve's face before he masked it again. The captain called out to the S.H.I.E.L.D agents that there was no need for their presence and the spies filed out, not entirely sure that it was a good decision.

Loki was panicking. Imperceptibly, of course. What sort of deity of trickery couldn't even hide their own emotions? He knew that no amount of berating would persuade the sadists of Midguard to leave him be. Yes, the incident of New York hadn't been most polite on his part and Loki regretted the unnecessary loss of life. Just not enough to wish for life long imprisonment in penance. So it made perfect sense that the god's eyes were darting everywhere, looking for a method of escape. The one thing that stood out, was an ajar window. The faint sound of rushing water told Loki there was a large river beneath it. He started to shift ever so slightly towards the window, accidentally meeting two sea green eyes in doing so.

Percy had watched as the god formulated his plan and flicked his gaze between the pane of glass and Loki to prove it. Loki briefly worried that Percy would attempt to stop the bid for freedom, but those thoughts were disproved by a slight upward twitch of Percy's lips.

The entire interaction and creation of the plan had taken a minute or two. The other people in the room had spent that time standing silently- wallowing in their anger and shame. That being said, there was an exception. Natasha Romanoff was not one to be unproductive and she was not foolish enough to take her eyes off the enemy parties.

When Loki nodded to Percy and the pair leaped into the window -smashing the glass with a shield that burst from the demigod's wrist- Natasha was falling through the air behind them.

a/n: oof so this took a while. I extend my deepest apologies my brilliant readers. I'm fairly certain a few details of this were off but i like the direction this chapter sends me so idrc