Hellen had me brainwashed. She was so controlling and I became her little minion. She left once. One frigid winter day. And while her and dad were fighting, I was dragged in the middle of it, she made me say that she was a better parent than my dad, made me spit it right in his face. Made me tell him I wanted to go with her (I really didn't).
I was excited for her to leave, I felt free, to be a kid, to do what I wanted to do, eat what I wanted to eat and spend much needed time with my dad. As soon as her stuff was gone, I ate two packs of gingerbread pop tarts. I was finally free.
I brought my Nintendo DS on the bus and played with the other kids. I wore what I wanted to wear. I came alive.
Dad and I went to restaurants and I got to spend time with him. I told him of some of the things going on. My dad had always been my safe place. She was never as nasty to me when he was around.
Then... it all went to shit.
One day we went over to where Hellen was staying at her sisters. We sat down and talked "as a family" and I was asked if I wanted Hellen and her kids to come back. I knew, my "no" wasn't going to mean shit. So I lied, I said "yes" I wanted them back, more than anything. My little body filled with dread.
As soon as she got back she ripped me a new ass about eating two poptarts, about sorting all the crayons she had stashed from me, about living without her, pretty much. She told me I had gotten fat, that even when she was gone I still needed to abide by her rules. I dreaded my life, all over again.
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Her Inner Strength
EspiritualThis is just details of my life. Me just trying to recall and work through things. I hope someone, somewhere can relate. But I'm more or less treating this as a public journal of the story of my life. The events may not be in order, they're just my...
