With Pain Comes Love Book 1

Yaya 21

So Melokuhle is dating the girl I saw him with today? I knew it! why would he kiss me knowing that he's seeing someone? The kiss changes everything. I was sort of mad at him but I mostly mad at myself for being that stupid. Why did I kiss him back? What was I hoping to gain from it anyway? He called me when Ledi and I got home but I straight of ignored his calls, what did he want from me maybe? Ledi walked in a while later and threw herself on my bed.
Her: I just got a call from Melo
Me: where did he get your number?
Her: I didn't ask... anyway he was calling to make sure we home safe
Me: that's nice of him.
I said walking to my closet taking my clothes off layer by layer. She followed me.
Her: what happened tonight?
Me: what do you mean?
Her: I'm not stupid. I noticed the tension between you guys after the whole fight incident
Me: I don't know what you talking about Naledi
Her: when you and Melo left the table ya'll were on good speaking terms and then suddenly you come back acting all awkward... what happened? Did he hurt you?
Me: what? NO!
Her: then why are you ignoring his calls
She asked waving my phone in my face. She knows my pattern... just great! Naledi is one observant person so its best I just tell her because one way or the other she's gonna find out.
Me: he kissed me in the toilet and I kissed him back
She screamed and started jumping up and down all excited.
Her: so this means that he is not dating the girl you saw him with and that you two actually might be something
Me: no! it was just a kiss. Besides, he has a girlfriend and we agreed that it was a mistake and it will never happen again
Her: WHAT???
Me: what?
I said walking back to my room wearing my pjays.
Her: you guys kissed. How was it?
Me: it was normal. It was a kiss there's nothing to it really
Her: liar! You like him friend
Me: even if I do, it doesn't matter now. He has a girlfriend
I won't lie I really was hurt to hear that he has a girlfriend. I mean weren't we hitting it off? Aint like I was playing hard to get or anything but seeing those sides of him I never saw earlier on were slowly making me fall for him. Am I crazy for falling for the guy? Why now anyway? I think I need a destruction in my life.
Her: Melo kissed you knowing very well he has a girlfriend. Why do I get the feeling that he's with this girl for the sake of being with someone or because you've pointed it out to him so many times that you weren't interested in him that he decided to stop chasing?
Me: but Ledi I wasn't playing hard to get. I honestly wasn't interested in the guy before until he apologised and started showing me sides of him I never knew existed
Her: what you do from here on is all on you baby girl. you can either tell him how you feel about him or keep it to yourself but I must say this, nothing eats you up like the words you never said...
We were now sitting on top of my bed with my head on her lap and her playing with my hair.
Me: I hear you...
Her: so honestly... how was the kiss?
Me: it was magical bruh! I wished it would never stop. I mean if his kiss is that good
Her: then his sex must be even better
I laughed. Like Naledi had to take it there you guys? Why was this girl like this? One minute we having a heart to heart moment and the next she's being like this?
Me: yeah well I guess I'll never know now...
Her: if you wanted to know you would know!
Me: yeah whatever.
I said getting under the covers and she joined me. My phone rang and Zuko was calling, well his contact was saved as "asshole". I cut his call but nigga didn't give up such that I even switched my phone off. There was a knock on my door, Ledi and I looked at each other before answering for the person to come in. Anita walked in looking like a mess.
Ledi: can we help you?
Nita: can I come in?
Me: you already in so might as well...
Her: guys I'm sorry
I just nodded.
Ledi: sorry for what exactly? Can you be a bit more specific
Her: I screwed up you guys and I know that now. Bonke is not who I thought he was
Ledi: what did he do now?
Her: Emelie is pregnant!
Ledi: tell her we said congratz
I nudged Ledi under the blankets
Ledi: what?
Me: No!
Ledi: NO Yandiswa! Anita here gave me grief for sticking my nose in her business and now she's suddenly come to cry on whose shoulder? Nah fam it doesn't work like that! Anita sweetie go back to your limping boyfriend because you love him more than your friends who would do anything for you
Me: NO Naledi. Nita come sit down baby.
She was in tears and I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her, she didn't deserve this! Men really are trash shame! Who sleeps with your friend and then goes on and makes them pregnant? Bonke deserved what Ledi did to his lying cheating ass! I got out of the covers and went to comfort her, Ledi wasn't fazed at all by her tears this time around. I didn't know what to say to her really because let's be realistic, you can't give advice in a situation you've never been before because what experience are you speaking upon really? All I could tell her was that everything was going to be ok, that's all I could even utter to her. one thing you must know is that she values friendship more than relationships so when you go on and choose a man over friendship you'll be on your own should that man hurt you especially if she had tried to help you and you threw her help back on her face. Ledi got up out of my covers and walked out of my room. Nita fell asleep first and I tucked her in then switched my phone on before calling it a night, the following morning I was woken up by a phone call from Melokuhle.
//Me: what?
Him: is that how we answer the phone now?
Me: when you kiss me knowing well enough you have a girlfriend, yes that's exactly how the phone is answered
Him: I don't understand why you mad at me because you kissed me back, you wanted the kiss as much as I wanted it
Me: had I known you had a girlfriend then trust me it would have never happened in the first place Melokuhle
Him: I called you because you didn't get back to my calls and texts Yandiswa
Me: yeah well Ledi told you we arrived home safely. What more do you want?
Him: to apologise. I should have never kissed you Yaya, I don't regret kissing you thou but I shouldn't have and for that I'm sorry
Me: ok. Bye Melokuhle
Him: Yaya wait. Please.
I kept quiet. This conversation was going terribly and I just wanted it to end already!
Him: you still there?
Me: yes
Him: thank you. I don't know why I kissed you honestly but I don't regret kissing you because it made me realise that I have feelings for you
I chuckled.
Him: I know you don't believe me and I'm ok with that but I just thought you should know that. As much as I would like to be with you but I can't, you my sister's friend and my family likes you and I would never forgive myself if I hurt you in anyway like I've done with Kate.
Me: It was just a kiss Melokuhle, it didn't mean anything
Him: can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you didn't feel anything?
Me: it doesn't matter what I felt Melokuhle, I was high and what's done is done
Him: oh
Me: can I go back to sleep now?
Him: bye Yandiswa! //
I looked at my screen and the call had been ended... I don't understand why Melokuhle would call me at past 6 to tell me all of this. his call was unnecessary really. I mean what did he think would happen? We kiss and suddenly I'm in love with him and I want a relationship with him? It doesn't go that way! I tried sleeping but I couldn't sleep anymore so I went to Ledi's room and knocked but she didn't respond which meant she was probably still sleeping. I tried opening the door and it wasn't locked so I walked in and she really was sleeping. I got under the covers behind her and cuddled her, I needed a hug.
Her: it's still early. What are you doing up?
She said in a sleepy tired voice without even turning to look at me.
Me: I need a hug.
She turned and faced me then wrapped her arms around me.
Her: what's wrong? What happened?
She could barely open her eyes but she opened them and looked at me.
Me: I just got a call from Melokuhle
Her: saying?
Me: says he has feelings for me... he doesn't regret kissing me oh and that he can't date me because I'm close to his family and that he would never be able to forgive himself if he hurt me the way he hurt his current girlfriend
Ledi was smiling hearing all of this and really? I don't see exciting about all of this because it's not exciting at all!
Her: I don't know what more you want. That man is yours, you just need to take him
Me: I can't. He is not mine to take Ledi. He has a girlfriend, the last thing I want is to be those girls that wreck relationships
Her: why do we always blame the girl when it's the man that approaches the girl knowing very well that he has a girlfriend? Melo met you first so in all honestly he was yours first before he was hers
I couldn't help but laugh at her logic. See why I love her? she is able to make me feel better.
Her: there's that laugh I love so much.
Me: So you and Anita?
Her: what about us?
Me: you know what I mean
Her: argh I'm not going to pretend that I'm okay with the way she handled things. She didn't want us to get involved and now that there's a baby in the picture she suddenly wants us to be involved? Nah fam it don't work like that
Me: but she apologised
Her: her apology means nothing to me. Anita needs us only when it suits her. what kind of friend is that? Let her grow up the way she wants to grow up, let her handle her shiit the way she wants to handle it bheyps
Me: oh Ledi
Her: NO Yandiswa! Let's sleep I'm still sleepy
I tried convincing her but my friend wasn't hearing jack shiit such that I even gave up. We fell asleep and woke up to an English breakfast made by Nita, of cause Naledi didn't eat it she made herself cereal. Anyway I got a call from Mrs Mbira asking me to come to her house Friday and take some "squad goals" pictures of her daughter and some friends for the 21st on Saturday. I was going to make +-R5000 from all of this which was going into my savings for my gallery. Yes my plan was to buy an open space when I'm in my final year and then handle everything proper during holidays. After breakfast I showered and went to town to buy film for my camera with Naledi and some printing paper and all that other stuff with money mom sent me.
Me: so I got a text with my father's number
Her: you went through with it?
Me: I told you I'm curious
Her: what if he is not what you hoping for
Me: I don't even know what I'm hoping for
Her: does your mom know you looking for the guy?
Me: of cause she doesn't
Her: which means it's a bad idea
Me: how is finding my father a bad idea?
Her: we are talking about a man who never bothered to be in your life Yandiswa!
Me: can you just support me on this please
Her: I don't want you to get disappointed
Me: you'll get to say you told me so after the whole thing
We were walking around Pavilion mall in Westville. This chick bumped into me making me drop my paper bags and her school bag in the process
Ledi: watch where you going
Her: I'm so sorry
Me: yeah me too
We were picking up the things on the floor and then we looked at each other and then we headed separate ways. There was something about the girl, I don't know what it was about her but there was just something about her eyes almost like I've seen them somewhere.
Ledi: you ok?
Me: yeah I'm fine
Her: these snobs need to watch where they going
Me: it was a mistake friend
Her: still doesn't excuse what she did though
She was a student at Durban girls high, she looked like she was in grade 9 or 10. Ledi calls DGH kids snobs because of the English and pretty much the school. She pretty much hates the kids for no particular reason. We continued walking and headed to her car and drove back home. On the way we were singing along to Lemonade the album.