Serendipity

chapter 19

I didn't see him for the next few days and whenever I did I would not look into his eyes. I was too embarrassed, he must be thinking of me as a crazy heartbroken girl. He saw me in a very weak and pathetic state. I don't want anyone to pity me. Yes, my heart has broken but no one has to know it!

I didn't tell anyone, I had resumed going to university as I normally did. But I have changed in certain ways. I don't speak much, I don't laugh and I don't smile!

My family and friends have noticed it, and some even asked me about it but I have shrugged it off saying it's nothing but with my brothers it is difficult. They know something is wrong with me so I will talk to them like I normally do before this all happened. I am grateful that they are not with me here right now because if they did, they would have caught on that something is wrong with me.

I have also tried to be as normal with Mary as I can. I spend most of my time at the university, the library or at the bookshop. I only come home to eat or sleep. I have busied myself so that I won't think about him. But as night falls and I lay down to sleep, the memory of that day haunts me, the memories of him hit hard. I would cry myself to sleep every night thinking how differently that could have turned out if only...!

On Sunday I went to the library to work on my assignment. Near 3 p.m. I received a call, when I looked at the screen I froze as tears threaten to fall. I silenced the phone and placed it in my bag. For some reason I couldn't delete his number, something in me would let me. I don't know why but my heart is not believing that he was my Mr handsome.

Yes, he was always so silent and not expressive but still, I felt something. I felt like he had some feelings for me if not love but still... we had something between us. But that day it was like I was meeting a stranger nothing in him seemed like I am meeting my Mr handsome. Was it all an illusion? Part of my imagination? Was I imagining things?

"Hey, are you alright?" I didn't realize when Jake came and sat beside me. He was looking at me with concern. I forced myself to smile.

"Yeah... yeah I am fine," I said and looked back at my laptop.

"Alara is there any problem? You can share with me, I can help you if you want ..." He started but I intervenes quickly trying to muster an assuring smile.

"No Jake I am fine. Everything is fine!" I said firmly to myself. If I won't think about it, it won't bother me.

"Alara..." He again started looking unsure.

"Jake please, don't you see I am working," I said, my voice coming out angry than I intended. His face falls and I instantly felt bad. Before I could apologise he stood up and send me a small smile and walked away not before saying.

"I am sorry," he said and I felt so bad. He didn't wait after that and walked out of the library. I held my head in my hands as I groaned lightly. I am pushing everyone away from me. I haven't talked to Hailey in days.

I stood up and gathered my things, I have a shift at the bookshop. Mr and Mrs Smith are going out today so he asked me to come early. I walked to the bookshop with my things. On my way I bought coffee for myself, I am feeling so exhausted and I still have to work on my assignment.

I reached the shop, Mr Smith was waiting for me. He bids goodbye and went out leaving me alone. I set my things on the counter as I drank my coffee and worked on my assignment simultaneously. Occasionally few customers will come and I would pause my work and deal with them. Sundays are always the busiest!

It was almost 9 when I was done with my assignment, I mailed my assignment to my professor and turn off the laptop. I gathered my things and stood up to close the shop but then a few girls came in to buy books. I sighed and sat back as they walked around looking for the books that they want to buy. It took 45 minutes for them to decide. They bought so many books and it was 10 when I finally close the shop and walked towards my home. It was dark and cold outside, the only light coming from the street lights. I was walking on the sidewalk and only a few cars will pass by at this hour. This area is not so crowded even during the day and at night it is almost empty.