Lady Marian

Chapter 30

Winter drew the folds of her soft, white gown around us Sherwood outlaws. In the forest we were protected from the chilling winds that blew over the meadows, the winds that caused Locksley to shake as if the village itself were shivering and turned Nottingham as cold as the stones that surrounded it. The river froze so thick that even mighty Little John could walk over it without fear. Every morning Robin hacked a new opening in it with an axe for Sarah or me to draw water. Every morning it seemed the ice had grown deeper.

As the ice grew firmer, so did my certainty that I was changing. Our situation was changing. Inch by inch the undeniable maternity grew more perceptible beneath my gowns. Robin rejoiced in the sanctity of our antechamber, but the storm clouds that had settled in his eyes on that fateful day in the forest would not dissipate. While he raided merchants and ran through villages tossing silver like snowfall, I wished for another skirt to wear beneath my gown to hide the fact a little longer. By December the smallest rounding had begun to appear, lifting my gown off the snow encrusted forest floor almost imperceptibly. Sarah set about quilting scraps of fabric and turning my sapphire ring on a thread in front of a fire, declaring a son was to be born.

Born in a cave.

Daily my resolve grew stronger. If not for ourselves. Even Sarah had agreed with me.

No theatrics. A simple plan. Nottingham Castle had been Robin's hunting grounds—had he not memorized its halls in childhood? There was one place I knew better than the craggy sandstone of our cave's dingy walls.

I waited until the men left on another raiding mission. My stomach churning with the ever-present waves of nausea, I presented my plan to Sarah.

"No!" she protested. "I will not be your confidante in this matter. I have taken messages for you. I have hidden outlaws in castle rooms. I have run off to the forest meself, but I will not do this thing."

"Sarah." I laid a hand on top of hers to ease its trembling. "We both know that this must be done."

"It is terrible." She crossed herself. "And in your condition."

"Norse women fight in my condition, they say."

Sarah shivered.

"Where will you find belladonna at this time of year?"

I shrugged, knowing full well the spot where they grew in outlandish number, untended in the deep recesses of Sherwood Forest. "The berries will be frozen, but they will work all the same."

"If you are caught, they will burn you like a witch."

"If I am not caught, how many innocent lives will not be trampled by the sheriff?"

"When do you mean to do this?" Sarah asked.

"You said you did not want to be burdened with information."

"Why would you be telling me in the first place?"

I shrugged. "I had hoped you would cause a diversion. Arrive back at Arlingford, request your old position back in return for information regarding Robin Hood."

"I would be hanged as a traitor or burnt as a witch meself. Besides, my old position does not exist as long as there's no lady of the house to tend after." Sarah turned her back to me, pounding her dough as if to make it as tough as possible to punish me.

"Aye," I caressed my growing belly. "I see your point. Perhaps it is a foolish plan."

"You should go to confession just for thinking of it." Sarah seethed as she tossed her bread onto the fire.