How I Met Your Mother

38 - This was everything.

natalie

I went to school today without anything going wrong.

Now I'm on the way to practice. It's long overdue anyway.

"Natalie!" Stella looked at me once I walked through the gate and onto the field, "Yo! Cap is back." She walked closer to me, "How are you?"

"Fine. Really. I am fine." I nodded, "Thank you."

Everyone came and asked me how I was. I told them I was fine. Coach told them to get away.

"Natalie." Coach stood at the door of her office right as I was pulling out my cleats, "A word please?"

"Of course." I left my shoes on the ground next to my cleats and walked into the office with just my socks on. "Look coach, if this is about my mom-"

"It's not." She sat in her seat. "Sit down."

I closed the door, "What's wrong?"

"Are you sure you can play?"

"Coach."

"I'm just worried about you."

"It's my senior year. And it's state." I sat up straight, "I'm fine. I promise."

"Natalie." She sighed and folded her hands on the desk, "I lost my mom in high school as well. I don't know if you knew that. And I remember how hard it was. I was drinking and I completely disregarded my lacrosse career." She shook her head, "I was driving home with a few friends in the car. I had a few too many to drink." She looked up at me, "I wrapped my car around a telephone pole on a back road. Took them hours to find us. My best friend, Varela, almost died. I only broke my leg but I lost my lacrosse career. I know you don't want to continue playing in college but I don't want you to completely throw your life away." She looked me in my eyes, "I am here for you Natalie."

"Thank you Coach."

She nodded and stood up, "Please don't hesitate to reach out for something."

"I didn't know that about you." I stood up as well, watching her move across her office.

"I don't tell many people. Varela and I think it's rather embarrassing."

"So you and Varela are still close?"

"11 years of marriage does make two people close." She smiled at me, "Drill today. Take it easy as you ease back into it. Tomorrow morning is weight lifting."

I groaned, "I didn't know you were married to Varela."

She held up her hand, "It's not a secret."

"Well why don't we all know?"

"Roger's City is small, Natalie." She opened her office door, "You very well could have found out."

I went onto the field as soon as I put my cleats on. "Alright everyone! Warmups!"

<><><><>

Mackenzie was still out with Maddie and London when I got back to my house.

I haven't had time alone that I wasn't sad, sleeping, or contemplating jumping in the lake and not coming back up.

I sat at my desk after I showered and put on my Jeff Buckley vinyl. Grace makes me think clearly. Helps calm me down.

Why are all of the artists I love dead?

I looked down at the mess of papers. The red envelope was the one I noticed.

I opened it, put the key inside, and didn't do anything else.

There's a letter in there but I couldn't help myself to read it.