Not His Dream Girl

Three Women, One Nick

My hands visibly shook as I sat in one of the two chairs I had set up earlier beside Nick's bed. Bonnie, his beautiful mother, inhabited the other one. Her white hair stuck to her almost wrinkle-free forehead as Nick's room usually ran hot.

I wiped the sweat off my own palms in my dress pants. I took bites of the salad I had bought from the kitchen downstairs for our lunches as an unusual silence took over several times. I was too in my head to talk today. After I swallowed my mainly leafy bite, I cleared my throat to speak. I was ready to make her hate me, but she beat me to it before I could start a conversation. "He is looking a bit peaky, don't you think?"

"Umm, yeah, but it's hot in the room, plus its peak June now, so he is just sweating. I will ask the nurse to increase his IV intake today." I reassured her.

"Thank you, honey. It eases my mind so much because you are here. I was ready to shell out all the money in the world to place him in the best rehab, but once I knew you could get him into this place, I didn't question it. He needed to stay here, with you around, taking good care of him."

The guilt in my chest gurgled. She would take all this back in about three seconds, "Happy I could help, anytime, but you know...." The rest of the sentence got stuck somewhere between my gut and thumping heart. Boy, it was hot in here.

"Has she come to visit him yet?" Bonnie spewed.

"Melissa? No, I think it's just too painful for her to see him this way, Bonnie." I defended.

She clicked her tongue in disappointment. "Right, it has nothing to do with that new fella she's been living with."

"They are not living together. They are just...."

"Disrespecting my son. How will he feel when he wakes up and finds out that his Fiancée has moved on? Awful, that's how!" She practically yelled. "Don't worry, baby. I will care for you!" She said to Nick, wiping a bead of sweat with her palm.

"Bonnie, you may never have to worry about that, he may never wake up." I said, plucking up the courage because seeing her like this broke my heart. She was so helplessly hopeful, and none of it was based in reality.

"May, last time we talked, you said when he wakes up, you would remind him that he still owed you the five dollars you lent him once for a bagel and milk in high school. What changed today?" Bonnie blinked at me. The only other person foolishly waiting for Nick to wake up with her was me. Today I see what a disservice I was doing to her.

"I didn't think I would get a chance to do that. It was just...just a fantasy." My voice cracked. The impact of what I was about to say started sinking in. "Bonnie, the truth is, it's very unlikely he will wake up. It's been two years already. Maybe it's time for you to start thinking about the next steps so you can both be at peace."

Bonnie let out a bitter laugh, and the long copper necklace she always wore, with Nick's picture encapsulated within its locket, jangled to her beat. "That's why you bring him sunflowers every week and keep in touch with his soccer and basketball team friends to update them on his condition. Jack from basketball told me you video-chatted him or whatever a few weeks ago so he could see Nick. So why the change all...oh, I see." Her face, until now, was sympathetic, but now it changed into a nasty scowl. "Someone has been whispering in your ears." She said through gritted teeth.

"Bonnie, it's not what you think. We were just generally talking about Nick. She asked for an update and then told me why she thought the way she did about..." it was too awful to say 'pulling the plug,' so I didn't. "After hearing Melissa's reasons, I could see her side of this issue too. If Nick is here, she can't move on or move forward with someone. But of course, I also want him to wake up, but day by day, it's starting to seem impossible. Maybe it's time to give everyone some normalcy back and give Nick the chance to be free." I rambled. Not meeting her eyes.