Not His Dream Girl

A Few Seconds of Clarity

Nick moved slowly, grabbing the two bars on each side of him as the physical therapist, Jane and I cheered him on. Nick had a good month right after he woke up, but his hips gave up after he tried to rush his recovery. So he needed to get hip surgery and now was back in therapy to walk again. He moved slowly but without too much hesitation. Once he got to the end, where his wheelchair was waiting for him, he gently eased himself in, without any help.

"Well, how did I do?" Nick smiled at Jane. Showing her his pearly whites.

"Very very well!" Jane chirped.

"Thank you!" Nick winked at her.

Jane blushed and said, "Are you flirting in front of your wife?"

"Yeah, are you?" I asked.

"Busted but she understands. Right, babe?" He asked me but did not wait for me to answer because he turned right back to Jane. "You're so beautiful I just can't help myself." He commented with another wink.

"Okay, that's enough. Thanks for everything today Jane!" I said, wheeling him away feeling an undeserved ping of jealousy. I kept quiet as I rolled Nick to the van that was taking us back to Cider because I was trying to decipher why my brain was acting this way.

We walked out of the physical therapy facility and felt the effects of weak summer heat . Today was one of those scattered cooler days we have been getting as August prepared for its end. The driver and I got Nick out of his chair and comfortably into his seat and buckled him up, as my mind was trying to understand why I was jealous of a man who wasn't even mine. Of course, as always my thoughts moved on to Melissa. Nick had been up for almost three months now and I had been able to successfully lie to her about Nick. I guess I had some experience in that, and it did help that her romance with Jacob was heating up. "We are going on a trip to Portugal next month!" She exclaimed on one of our last phone calls.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Nick asked, snapping me out of my usual thoughts. "Are you upset because I flirted with Jane?"

"Nope," I simply said.

"You know Jane is one of the people who needs to sign my release from Cider. So along with trying to walk, I am just trying to butter her up. This way I can get to walk, and get out of Cider so I can finally take you out on a date!"

"Why don't you just take Jane," or Melissa? Nick scooted over on the back seat towards me and placed his hands around my face. His gaze held me for a few, intimate seconds, and I wanted to smack him away, but his fingertips left a soft imprint as they brushed both my cheeks. "Nope, I don't think I'll take anyone but you out on a date ever." His deep blue eyes only blinked at me once as they waited for me to react. I wanted to tell them how amazing that sounded. How I had waited all my life to hear him say this, but much like my failure to move Nick's hands away, I couldn't get those words out either. I was in limbo.

Nick moved his face closer to mine, his eyes moving down to my lips, and time slowed down. This wasn't the first time Nick tried to kiss me. Just last week he kissed my cheeks when I bought him his favorite bagel for breakfast. He was aiming for my lips but I moved my face fast. Today, however, I couldn't move, his grip, though loose, had a psychological hold on me. It felt stronger than it was, it seemed like I was stuck in place.

Thankfully, when he moved his grip towards my chin to prop my face towards him, I snapped out of it.

I moved Nick's hands and my face away from him, "Nick I..." I stared.

Nick, in turn, scowled and turned his angry face away from me. "I don't understand why you don't want to do anything with me. You're my wife....you should want to kiss me." He groaned.